Dreamscape
by gameboy33349
Summary: The best dreams present themselves as emotions. And hormone fueled teens have a lot of those. Cargan with minor Kames, contains slash. Rated M mostly for language, but a bit for sexual themes.
1. Dreams of Desire

A/N: Hooray, my first fic :D Well, not my first, just the first I was willing to post. Haven't really ever had my writing judged by the public, so let's just rock and roll and see how it ends up.

Disclaimers: Rated M for Language and Sexual Content (at times)

I own nothing. NOTHING! (agitated cat noises) ...sorry about those, just slipped out. Now on with the show!

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><p>Oh, and just FYI, it's all in Carlos' POV… I think.<p>

"stuff" = speech

'_stuff'_ = thoughts (note the single quotes)

_stuff_ = emphasis

**stuff** = dreams

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><p><span>Chapter I- Dreams of Desire<span>

**I was laying in a bed, with a warm body next to me, arms wrapped around me, holding me in its embrace. I felt cold metal on the ring finger of left hand and smiled. I rubbed my thumb over the inscription like I had so many times before, and I snuggled into his warmth. I loved Logan more than life, and I knew that I meant everything to him too. I remembered that every time my thumb touched that ring. I felt pure love fill me to the brim.**

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><p>I awoke suddenly, body covered in sweat, face flushed and burning… kinda like one of those hot towel James' old butler had that one time. I had never had a dream quite that intense before in my life. The ring, the warmth, the fact that it was <em>LOGAN<em>? What could it all mean?

I looked off to my left, seeing Logan sleeping comfortably in his own bed against the opposite wall. He hadn't noticed my sudden awakening and just continued wandering happily through dreamland. I silently rose from my bed and started gathering the sheets that had somehow escaped my bed at some point during that vivid… whatever it was.

It almost felt real. I could remember all of the sights, sounds, textures, and feelings… Everything. Sitting down on my bed I felt the spot next to where I had been laying. Cold. So at least there wasn't _really_ someone sleeping next to me.

I went on to inspect my hand; no inscription, no metal, no ring… however, when I ran my thumb over where the ring would've been, I felt a slight tug at my heartstrings coming from the direction of Logan's bed…

'_Get a hold of yourself Carlos! It was just a dream, it wasn't real, so get over it and get back to sleep!'_ The tail end of the thought ran through my head a few more times.

Sleep sounded good. Sleep, sleep, sleep. Can't get enough of that sleep. Just gotta get some more of that there sleep… the word started to lose meaning as I repeated it in my head.

I took another long look over at Logan. He had a smile on his face.

'_Probably dreaming about Camille…'_

I shuddered at the name. Camille was nice, but when she got into a part she could be pretty intense. Doing things like forcing Logan into kisses, slapping each of them on an almost daily basis; not really someone you'd want to get on the bad side of or she'd go full out crazy on your ass.

I chuckled quietly as I remembered all the crazy misadventures that she, Logan, and I would go on while Kendall was with Jo and while James was too busy being James.

My mind drifted back to Logan as soon as I thought about him though. I took another tentative glance over at him. His eyes were open, albeit not very wide, but he was awake.

"Hey buddy," I whispered, the smirk on my face not visible but probably floating along with my words over to his side of the room. He smiled, parted his lips as if he was going to say something, clearly becoming more awake. But then he just closed them again, retracting whatever statement he was going to make and just going with a simple nod.

"Tired still?" I questioned, trying to get at least one word out of him before he went back to sawing logs. I frowned when all he did was nod his head again. I might want to try a question that isn't a plain "yes or no".

"Why is that?" I asked. No way he could just nod for this one.

But he did. His head tilted forward, then back, then forward again. He obviously wasn't really paying attention, floating somewhere between consciousness and the dream world.

I sighed softly, stood up and walked over to his bed. I picked up one of my hands and slowly placed it on his head, earning what sounded like a purr.

'_How cute… wait, what? I didn't just think that!'_

I looked down at the hand on his head and noticed that I was absentmindedly _petting_ Logan's hair… and he was completely okay with it! Then again, he was floating somewhere up in the cosmos, so I guess he didn't know that anyone was petting him, let alone me of all people.

Noticing my hand still going, I tried to lift it up but as soon as I did so Logan grabbed the hand with his own and guided it back down.

'_Never underestimate the power of a sleeping person… I think.'_ I didn't know what to do. If I stayed in this bed with Logan all night then it would be a really awkward wake up tomorrow morning. But on the other hand, he wouldn't let me leave.

I sighed, quite loudly this time in hopes of waking Logan and getting him to let me go, but it was to no avail. He didn't budge. I just gave in at that point, lying down next to him. I still held my hand on top of his head, patting his hair while slumber's embrace slowly overtook me.

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><p><strong>I was back in the bed with Logan… a familiar feeling quickly took me over again. I was warm. I was in love. And I felt loved myself. I wrapped my arms around the body in front of me and pulled it in closer. I heard a soft, inviting chuckle and a nose nuzzle into my hair. I pulled my head closer to the bare chest in front of me, giving it a quick kiss and giggling before looking up into deep brown eyes full of want, care, and love.<strong>

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><p>AN: Well, there it goes, first chapter of my first publish is up… nervousness! Oh wait, I'm not allowed to feel that until chapter 4… Oops again, spoiler (though not much of one).

I hope you guys like it, cause I took about half an hour of my AP Chemistry final time to type it all up. Then again, the final was optional AND no hurt anyways, so it doesn't really matter!

Please review; I need feedback since it's my first fic!

If you guys actually read the author's note all the way to here, I'm gonna congratulate you for it, bravo! Here's a cookie! (::)

Enjoy!


	2. Dreams of Confusion

A/N: Ugh, I'm so bored sitting in this final room… second chapter, away!

^That up there was almost 14 hours ago, and now that I've actually posted it and ALREADY gotten some helpful comments, I'm excited! 2 Chapters in one day!

Disclaimers: Blah blah blah rated M, blah blah blah NOTHING, blah blah blah cat noises. On with the show!

…

Er, story. Whatever.

Remember the rules? 'K, let's go!

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><p><span>Chapter II- Dreams of Confusion<span>

I woke up that morning completely revitalized. It was as if the 12-hour dance lesson yesterday had just disappeared. The only strange thing was that I was in… Logan's bed.

'_Uh-oh.'_

He was already awake and sitting up in the bed, reading a book on his Kindle. I tried not to make it noticeable that I was awake. I tried to feign sleeping… Let's just say that I'm an _awful_ liar. If anything I made it completely obvious that I _wasn't_ asleep.

"Morning sunshine," he said with a cute smirk. I was screaming in my head 'when the word cute crossed my mind, but I couldn't keep my mind off of it.

He looked at me, somewhat perplexed. "Anyone home?" he joked, knocking on the side of my head, "Wait, I think I may hear an echo."

"Ha-ha," I shot back sarcastically, "you're so hilarious! You should win a prize for that one!" And with that comment, I looked at Logan's face. His expression could be described by 3 words- confused, intrigued, and… hurt. He looked honestly put down by what I said. "Sorry… it just sorta slipped out. Didn't really have a good night for dreams."

He looked down at me once, as if inspecting for lies. I kept my face as straight as possible to hide the fact that I was embarrassed of my dreams of him and myself…

"I'm always cool around you Carlos. Come on. Stop being so tense and tell me what's bugging you bud." He leaned in close with the last few words, so close that I could feel his breath ghosting over my lips.

I just sat there and tried to pull my thoughts together as small gusts and wisps of air flowed over my mouth.

'_Is he teasing me?'_

As soon as the thought entered I tore it out.

'_I don't feel that way for Logan! Or do I? No way, I like girls… I think? Anyways, Logan is so masculine, and smart… and sensitive… and gorgeous… and… wait, GORGEOUS? I didn't just think that, right? Well maybe… okay, fine. So maybe I am gay… or bi… or something. But it's not like Logan could possibly feel the same way about me… could he?'_

As my sudden rush of thoughts whirled through my head, I didn't notice Logan staring in wonder. He had no idea what storm was brewing in my usually inactive brain. He waved his hands in front of my eyes, and upon receiving no response he stood and walked to the dresser.

I was swept away by thoughts, but I eventually did notice that the object of my… affections… was gone. I looked over toward the dresser to see a drawer half open, clothes sitting neatly on top, and I heard the sound of rushing water from the nearby bathroom.

I silently cursed at myself for letting him walk away when all I really needed to do was have a talk with him. He would be okay with me… I'm pretty sure… as long as I didn't tell him I was in… something… with him.

'_Logan has a pretty open mind, he'd be just fine with me… unless he got that thing from his parents… or from someone back in Minnesota when we were on the hockey team…'_ My mind just kept inventing new ideas of why Logan wouldn't like having a gay best friend. Who he has to share a room with for a while. _'This may not go so well…'_

I eventually heard the water shut off. He would be coming back in here any second.

'_Just act natural, nothing weird is gonna happen if I just don't draw too much attention,' _I thought as I heard the door handle to the bathroom click and start to turn with a sharp squeak. I stood up off the bed and walked swiftly over to the dresser, grabbing some clothes out for myself.

I heard footsteps walk up next to me, and I looked up from my activity of choosing what to wear to begin a conversation… Let's just say I stopped a little short of the conversation part.

Logan was standing right next to me, wearing nothing but a towel around his waist. He grabbed his clothes off of the dresser and threw his pyjamas over onto his bed before turning back to me, and grin on his face.

I tried to stay as calm as possible and hide the serious blush that I absolutely _knew_ was there. I was obviously trying to avoid looking at him, so close to being completely naked… all it would take would be one swift pull downward.

'_Ugh, stop thinking like that!'_ I screamed in my head, my face warming up even more at how dirty my thoughts were quickly becoming.

"…so I just wanted to ask if you were okay, you seemed pretty out of it this morning."

I snapped back into reality. Logan was still standing in the same place, and he was apparently trying to make a bit of idle conversation while still trying to semi-subtly pry information from me, but hanging out with him for long periods of time brought knowledge of all of Logan's tricks.

"Sorry if I'm disappointing you Logie, but nothing at all is wrong," I said quickly, trying to sound as firm and calm as possible. He just stood next to the dresser, clothes still in hand, and studied me just like earlier. As he stared me in the eyes, I darted my own eyes back and forth out of his gaze and I could feel my knees weaken a little bit.

"You're lying."

"Nothing's wrong Logan, give it up." I started toward the bathroom, my clothes in hand, but he somehow got ahead of me. I put my hand on the door handle and he grabbed my wrist.

"Carlos Garcia, tell me what's going on right this instant," he demanded roughly as his grip on my wrist tightened. It actually started to hurt as his short but surprisingly sharp nails dug into my wrist.

"Logan, let me go!"

"Tell me what's going on and you'll be free to go!"

"You want to know so badly? FINE!" I shouted angrily, "Have it your way!" I shouted, releasing the door handle and grabbing his wrist back, pulling him toward the bed area. I looked over and made triple sure that the door was locked. I cleared my throat, trying to calm down and make sure the next time I spoke wouldn't be loud or angry-sounding.

"Jeez, you're so stubborn Carlos. If you had just sat down then none of the yelling would've-"

"I'm gay."

"…I'm sorry, what?"

"You know, gay, fruity, queer, homo; do you want me to keep going or are those enough for you?"

With that last question, Logan nodded his head as if he was stunned. I grabbed my clothes off of the end of the bed and started toward the bathroom again, but I once more felt that hand on my wrist. I sighed loudly and turned to face him. But I didn't even see his face as he pulled me into a tight hug.

"I'm glad you finally understand who you are Carlos," he said, his voice seeming to hitch a bit as he said that. Upon pulling back from the embrace I looked him in the eyes. He was crying. Logan- the guy who had fallen off of a 12-foot high tree branch and broke an arm and a leg without losing a single tear- was _crying_.

I didn't quite understand, and I was going to ask until Logan held a finger in front of my mouth.

"I will tell you what I mean. But later. You go take your shower, I'll get dressed in here, and I'll see you at the breakfast table," he said with a soft smile. With that, I pushed the bathroom door open and locked it behind me before sliding down to the floor.

'_I'm so confused…'_

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><p><strong>AN**: Woohoo chapter two! Again, thanks to the reviewers of chapter one, you guys helped me see that it _was_ a good idea to try this. I hope you liked this chapter, because I don't know how it turned out, I do like the ending though :D

FUN FACT OF CH2: I wrote this story on my iPhone at 2AM. Well, not all of it. But all of the chapters have names and plots and little snippets that made their respective ways into the story. Example one is the first dream, and example 2 is Carlos' thought rant at the beginning of this chapter.

Anyways, here's another two cookies for being nice enough to read and review! (::) (::)

Time to keep this party train going, chapter three will be up probably before tomorrow is even over (yay for you guys, and yay for me too even, I actually very much enjoy writing this).

Edit: Uh oh, I found a goof on my part. I hope people who had already read this don't get confused...


	3. Dreams of Possibility

A/N: 7:30am- Oh good, another time for a final where I have nothing to do… typing time!

~5:10pm- …and now it's more than 9 hours later and ready to go!

Disclaimers: Still rated M for language (which actually hasn't been very bad… just wait till Chapter 7 ;) ). I still own nothing, if you say I do then you're sadly mistaken.

I hope you all remember the rules, cuz I don't. And now, on with the show/story!

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><p>Chapter III- Dreams of Possibility<p>

I just sat on the floor of the bathroom for about five minutes, thinking and trying to figure out what the hell was going on. I mean, Logan can be happy for me, but I don't quite understand the crying… did I yell too much back there?

My mind kept on going in confusion as I turned on the water. It quickly became hot in the room as steam drifted over the shower curtain and began to fog up the mirror so that I couldn't just stare at my reflection anymore.

'_Stop thinking and just get in the shower, you're wasting water,'_ I heard Logan's voice say in my head. Of course it would be his. He was a tree-hugger, he was a voice of reason, and I couldn't get the guy out of my damn head anyways. _'Get a move on, fresh water is a valuable commodity that…'_ I heard Logan ranting in my mind about the merits of saving the precious resources of the planet as I quickly stripped my pyjamas and jumped in the shower.

At least it was nice and warm in there. The warmth enveloped my body and I felt much more comfortable all of a sudden, like a weight taken off of my shoulders by the water sliding down. It was washing away something… my stress from the awkward air surrounding Logan and I this morning, maybe. I felt my mood lighten and I smiled at a quick thought of what was coming up next: breakfast.

'_I hope we have pancakes… or French toast sticks… or waffles… even cereal sounds good, I'm starving!'_

I quickly washed my short hair and shut the water off. I toweled myself dry and grabbed my clothes, a pair of dark jeans and a very tight, thin, gray and blue t-shirt. _'When did I even get this shirt?'_ The tag was still on it… I had never worn it before but it looked as though it had been in that drawer for forever. Maybe I have seen it before but just passed it over…

My stomach growled loudly. _'Breakfast, right.'_ I slipped the shirt on (it was actually really comfortable) and looked in the mirror. _'I look hot today,'_ I thought with a smirk crossing my face, admiring the thin shirt hugging my thick chest and sleeves accenting my biceps. I then opened the bathroom door, a small amount of steam entering the bedroom. I walked over to my nightstand and grabbed my watch and necklace, leaving my hockey helmet sitting on the dresser. It wasn't the time for a shell.

I came out of the bedroom, trying to get the ends of the little strings on the necklace to meet. I sat down at the table, still fidgeting with the strings.

"Let me help with that," I heard as two warm hands lightly took the strings out of my own.

"Thanks Logan."

"No trouble at all," he replied, a grin dancing on his words. I felt the strings of the necklace loosen against my neck and I tilted my head back to see his face. That adorable grin was plastered there still.

Adorable… I didn't freak out over calling Logan "cute" like I had only thirty minutes before. It just kinda felt right now.

"Good morning Carlos, you look nice," Ms. Knight said with a quick smile at me.

"Thank you Ms. Knight," I returned with a smile of my own. I watched her set a plate of pancakes down on the table as we continued to make idle conversation. My stomach grumbled again, but Ms. Knight never let us start eating until everyone was at the table. She, Logan, Katie, and I just sat and chatted while we waited for Kendall and James to do whatever the hell they were doing to take so long.

"So Carlos, Logan says you have some big news to tell us," Ms. Knight said with a smile and wink. It bugged me that Logan had told her that, but I smiled weakly back at her. She rolled her eyes and beckoned me closer, forcing me to lean over a bit. "I'm happy that you finally figured yourself out, I've been sensing it for a while now," she whispered.

I was taken aback by that statement. How could she know who I was better than I did? And that was almost the same thing that Logan had said earlier… was I really the only one who _didn't_ know that I was… well, I'm still pretty sure that I didn't used to be gay… even though I never really hung out with any girls, or talked about them even if I was dating someone.

Logan poking my shoulder interrupted my musings. He grinned warmly and seemed like he was about to say something before turning his head and looking down the hallway. We all followed suit as two sets of loud footsteps came down the hall. I could hear some light whispering and chuckling as Kendall and James came into view, Kendall's arm around James' shoulder.

They seemed like they were being a little more than just buddy-buddy, almost like they were flirting, but I took nothing from it; just two friends talking or gossiping or telling stories. Probably nothing more. The fact that they had been spending a lot of time together lately also meant nothing. And neither did the two of them huddling together on the couch the night before…

'_Okay, so maybe I'm just a little bit oblivious to everything lately, maybe Kendall and Jo broke up because of James, but how should I know? They still could just be really good friends…'_

Kendall leaned over and kissed James on the cheek lightly before they sat down and entwined their fingers.

'_More than friends.'_

"Now that you two are _finally _here, we can eat," Ms. Knight said. Katie, Logan, and I cheered as we dug in.

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><p>Breakfast was <em>amazing<em>. Kendall's mom had to be the best cook EVER. We started to clean up the table. I had finished my duty of moving the dishes off of the table and into the kitchen to be clean.

'_I think Ms. Knight may have forgotten about-'_

"Hey Carlos, Logan told us you had some news," I heard Kendall call to me from the kitchen where he and James were doing the dishes.

"Oh yeah, he came barging into our room to wake us up for breakfast and said something like 'It'll be the highlight of the morning'," James said with fake enthusiasm. I just glanced over at Logan sitting on the couch, a deep red blush covering my face. I gave him a look that asked "You told them too?" He just grinned, offering no help or apology at all. That normally would have made me angry, but in this situation it calmed me down a little bit.

James and Kendall finished their job and went to sit down on the opposite part of the couch from Logan, who was closer to me. Ms. Knight had taken Katie off to the pool even though Katie wanted to know what was going on. Kendall forced his and James' hands together, and after a little bit of whispering, Kendall looked up at me.

"So what's your big story Carlos? Everything chill?"

"Guys, this is really important, so I want you to listen and not get distracted by each other," I said with a sigh. James pulled his hand out of Kendall's, who gave a huff. James leaned forward, clearly interested, and Kendall leaned back and put his arms on the back edge of the sofa.

"You have the floor Carlos," James said, eyes fixed on me, seeming determined to find out whatever secret was being kept. "What's the gossip man?"

I swallowed the lump in my throat and looked at Logan with a pleading gaze. He just stared into my eyes calmly. Feeling the others staring and waiting, I straightened my back, and took a deep breath.

"It's not gossip James. It's something much more important. Last night I had a dream unlike any I've ever had before. It helped me realize just who I am. I am proud of myself for being able to admit to everyone… that I'm…"

I choked on the word in my throat. Logan looked concerned. James and Kendall looked at each other, Kendall seeming to understand what was coming next and James looking flat out confused.

"…that you're what?" Kendall asked, trying to get me to say what was on my mind.

"That I'm," I tried to continue, but seeing the two of them lean forward discouraged me. "I'm… hungry?" I lied, turning to hurry into the kitchen. Kendall and James just got even more confused, and I heard Logan's footsteps follow me into the kitchen.

"Carlos, just tell them," I heard him whisper sternly.

"I can't!" I returned, kneeling down, tears starting to fall down my face. "I just can't…"

"If you won't then I will. It's your choice."

"Logan," I started, looking up at him. I was going to protest, but he silenced me with a finger on my lips.

"If they don't accept it, which they _will_, then I promise I'll protect you," Logan said calmly, coming down to my level and wiping away the tears rolling down my face. "You mean a lot to me Carlos, and I wish you'd just understand that."

'_I mean a lot to him? Does that mean… that there __**is**_ _a chance that I could be in his sights?'_ The thought got me excited. I hadn't been excited like that since… since… okay, so I hadn't ever been that excited. His words warmed me up. I stopped crying, wiped away the droplets on my face, and nodded to him. He then took my hand and led me out to the couch, sitting down and leaving me to face myself.

"Carlos," Kendall tried to start talking.

"Kendall, I can handle myself. What I wanted to tell you was that I realized through a dream that I am gay, and I'm damn proud to have realized it."

"Carlos-"

"I really think I've grown up in just the past few hours, and if you don't like the way I've proceeded in my life then you can go to H-"

"CARLOS!" Kendall said right in my ear. I was so focused on getting the words out I must've closed my eyes at some point, because Kendall and James were standing on either side of me instead of sitting on the couch. James wrapped his arms around me, giving me a deep hug, and as soon as he let go it was Kendall's turn to lean down and embrace me.

They looked at each other, mouthing a couple of words before turning back to me. James started. "Carlos, we both support you of course. We've been friends far too long to fuck it up over something like this."

"Since you didn't seem to notice that we're together, I guess you didn't think we'd be okay with gays" Kendall added with a signature Knight smirk punctuating the sentence. "And James was the language necessary?" he scolded.

"What, don't you watch Spongebob? It's just one of those 'sentence enhancers'," James shot back. We all took a quick laugh at that.

After another quick set of hugs they left Logan and I alone. He glided up next to me and poked my nose before I pulled him into a bone-crushing hug.

"Carlos, you're going to kill me," he wheezed as he strained for breath.

"Oops, sorry Logie," I giggled as I relaxed my arms a little, letting him slip down onto his feet.

"See? That wasn't hard, silly," he said playfully. I smiled at him, but that smile quickly disappeared with his next question. "So is there anyone you have your eyes on?" he asked nonchalantly.

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><p>AN: Ooh, a cliffhanger, I'm so mean.

And that makes the third chapter all but done, the only thing left is to have people read it!

*Also, just a quick question for those of you who would happen to answer for me, could you imagine Carlos wearing a pink long-sleeved v-neck? I mean, nothing else girly, I just envisioned him in that and a pair of jeans (no helmet, I don't really like the helmet…) and thought it was adorable. I was thinking of possibly putting him in that outfit somewhere in this story since he always seems to wear either dark or bold red/orange-ish colors.

I can't think of good fun facts for every chapter. Which isn't very fun because I want to have one at the end of each chapter and no fun fact means no fun. Or at least not as much fun.

Anyways, please review and answer that question up there for me (it has a * next to it). Thankees errybuddy!


	4. Dreams of Nervousness

A/N: I actually have to agree with the one or two reviewers who said that this is fast paced. Maybe a little too fast paced… Oh well, it's a story, and the pace kinda sets itself as I write, and since it was finals week and I got out of school 2 hours early, so I did a lot of writing.

Also, if you read chapter 2 before I re-edited it then you may want to look back at the ending of it, I replaced a couple of words that changed a bit of meaning in the story. It didn't really match into chapter three and this chapter the way I wanted with that at the end :\

Now, on a lighter note, hooray for chapter 4! Disclaimers are still the same, rules are still the same. Let's get it rolling.

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><p>Chapter IV- Dreams of Nervousness<p>

I just stared at Logan, a little shocked that he'd be asking such a loaded question so quickly.

"I… I…" I stuttered. I had no idea what to say. I just wasn't able to answer him right that moment. He was just standing in front of me smiling, brown eyes shining a bit. It was awkward to say the least. Neither of us spoke or moved for 5 minutes, and I watched his smile slowly fade.

"Carlos…"

"Yes?"

"Just forget that I asked that. I hope you have a good rest of your day." He sounded like he had been rejected, but he tried to bring another smile to his face to mask the obvious hurt in his voice. "I'll see you later, Kendall and I were going to go skating. Something about keeping in shape if this band somehow crashes." He rushed away into our bedroom and left me standing in the middle of the room. I felt a pit form in my stomach

'_Wait, did I disappoint him? Was he waiting to hear his own name? No, of course not, Logan isn't gay… is he?'_ Those and many similar thoughts swirled around in my head. I just stared over at our bedroom door as it opened again. He walked out wearing his old hockey jersey and carrying a duffel bag with his skates inside. Giving me a quick two-fingered wave, not even looking me in the eyes, a blank expression stuck on his face, he turned down the hallway to walk to Kendall and James' room.

I just decided to sit down on the couch and turn on the TV. I kept on thinking, not paying attention to whatever show was on.

'_I hope I didn't do anything too stupid… I don't want to mess up on this one.'_

Kendall and Logan came walking back down the hallway a few minutes later. I looked over my shoulder to see Kendall in a similar high school hockey team jersey and carrying a skate bag over his shoulder. Logan had pretty much the same expression as before, but the corners of his eyes were a little bit red and puffy.

Kendall walked over and explained where they were going, how long they'd be gone, what I was in charge of, blah blah blah. He then looked over his shoulder to Logan, who was dabbing at his eyes a bit with the sleeve of his shirt. Kendall looked down at me once more and smiled. He poked my nose like Logan had earlier before turning on the balls of his feet and heading out of the apartment, Logan in tow.

As soon as the door shut, I sighed loudly. Whatever was on TV really didn't matter to me right now, so I shut it off and laid down on the couch, face buried in a pillow.

Five or so minutes later, I heard James' heavy footsteps coming down the hallway. He stopped for something, I couldn't tell what, but I soon felt something light land on my back before hearing the door to the apartment open and shut loudly again. I reached up and pulled the object off of my back.

It was a note from James telling where he was going, how long, et cetera. The only thing that caught my eyes was at the bottom. A post-script.

_P.S.- I know that it's hard coming to terms with your feelings, but you need to relax a bit. Everyone in this house will accept you, you just need to understand that. Hope you had a good nap._

_Lots of love, James_

I reread it once more. I knew he was right, which was kind of rare for James, and I definitely wanted to take his advice. The thought storm kept going for a while, and I just zoned out on the couch.

When I next looked at the clock it read 3:28. Logan and Kendall had left almost 4 hours ago. I was amazed that I could've been thinking for that long of a time without frying my brain… that day was a development for me mentally, that's for sure.

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><p>Kendall and Logan came back at around 4:30 that day, finding me still lying on the couch, awake and thinking.<p>

"…Carlos?"

"Yes?"

"You're on the couch still, and the TV isn't on anymore. You okay?" Kendall questioned.

"Yeah, I'm okay," I lied. "Just woke up from a nap."

Kendall nodded, and we went to our respective rooms. I didn't look at or talk to Logan for the rest of that day.

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><p>Kendall and Logan went to the rink every day for the next 2 weeks, even on the days where we had been dancing, and when they left I would flop down on the couch and start brainstorming for what to tell Logan in response to his question.<p>

'_Okay, so I had this dream where we were in bed together and that made me love you.' _Oh, that would go over great.

'_Logan, I love you, but if you don't like that then I'll leave and cry now.'_ That isn't what a winner would say. Anyways, so much could go wrong with that…

I was so nervous, and when I heard the apartment door open and saw Kendall and Logan walk in I jumped. I heard them laugh about something or other before Logan walked into our shared room. When the bedroom door shut I leaped off of the couch, grabbing Kendall's wrist, and pulling him into the kitchen bathroom. The door handle clicked as I locked it behind me.

"Dude, what up?" he asked as he rubbed his wrist. I did pull a little hard…

"I can't deal with this anymore. I've been lying on that couch for almost 2 hours every day while you guys go to the rink trying to think of what to tell Logan in response to that question and I don't have anything still!"

"You've been thinking that much? Are you okay?" he asked jokingly, holding the back of his hand to my forehead. I smacked it down and glared at him.

"You aren't being helpful Kendall! How am I supposed to tell Logan that I love him when I don't have a clue whether he'll be perfectly okay with it? I assumed that he may feel something but unless I know for 100% that I'll be okay I don't want to do anything dumb," I ranted at him. I continued to spout off my almost nonsensical thoughts for ten minutes before he cut me off with a small smack on the cheek.

"Will you just suck it up and tell him already Carlos? I think he's already figured it all out and is just waiting on you to make a move," he sighed at me.

"But…"

"No buts. Go out there and ask him out before he decides to stop waiting and move on."

"He's been waiting for me?" I asked, taken a bit back.

"Yes, he had, so go out there, make some small talk, then ask him out," Kendall returned, pushing his way past me and out of the bathroom, not even hiding how tired of my confusion and nervousness he was.

I tiptoed a bit out of the bathroom, peeking around the corner to see where Logan was. He was sitting at the dinner table with books, folders and papers sprawled all over the wood, finishing his assignments that were given just before the Palm Woods School went on break. I looked at the mess on the table. He was usually organized, only ending up like this when the homework was long or especially challenging.

I was standing just out of sight in the doorway of the bathroom. He couldn't tell that I was watching, or at least I thought he couldn't.

"Come on out Carlos, I know you're there," he said without looking up from his notepad. He was even smarter than I already thought he was.

"Heeey," I sauntered in and plopped down in the chair next to him. I leaned in to look at his mess of papers. "Whatcha doing?" I tugged on his shirt sleeve.

"Homework."

"…Anything I could actually be helpful with?" I inquired enthusiastically, but I didn't really want to help, and I doubted I'd really even be much help anyways.

"Unless you know how to name ethers and esters in organic chemistry then probably not," he replied with a frown. The word jumble passed in one ear and out the other, so I just concentrated on his face. He should never frown, it doesn't look nearly as adorable as his grins.

"Hey frown, go away now. I have some important…" I paused, picking a word to fit the situation. "…er, developments, to report."

"Shoot away buddy." He didn't even look up. He just kept scribbling down long words and numbers, eyes darting back and forth between his paper and book. Frustrated, I covered the book with my hand.

"I actually want your attention right now, this is really important to me."

Sighing, he put his pencil down and looked up. "Does this have something to do with two weeks ago?"

"Yes it does, so I just need you to-"

A finger on my lips silenced me. This seemed to be growing into a pretty common occurrence.

"Since it is, I'm going to guess what you want to say, 20 questions style."

I sighed loudly. I hated when he did this, if someone had something pressing to report then he would occasionally try to guess it. He almost always played the game through to the end, which was the opposite of James, Kendall or I; we would just get annoyed of the game and give up after 3 questions. I wished that he'd let me talk, but seeing the determination in his eyes told me I wasn't allowed to, so I sadly complied with a quick nod.

"Fire away Logie…"

He put a hand to his chin, stroking at the almost invisible stubble dotting his face for a couple seconds. "It has to do something with crushes," he recalled. "Does it have to do with someone at the Palm Woods?"

I stared blankly. "Yes, how could it possibly relate to someone anywhere else?" I questioned, earning a grin and a shrug. He leaned a little closer in, gazing into my eyes to find a bit of meaning.

"Does it have to do with Kendall or James?"

"Hell no man, I know what's off limits," I said with a quick smirk.

"Well shucks," he laughed. "One for two…" He looked around the room a bit, and that made me nervous. What could possibly be cooking in his big brain? After a short time, though, he leaned back in his chair and took a deep breath. "Well, I don't have any other guesses," he stated flatly, looking back down at his papers on the table.

"You… You don't?" I stammered, groan inwardly as my heart sank. "But you're Logan, you _always_ know what you're talking about! It's my job to give up after asking only two questions, not yours."

He glanced at me with a cute grin splayed across his face.

"Well… maybe just one more try."

My heart rose back up a bit. "Don't keep me in suspense dammit, what's next?"

He rubbed his chin, looking around the room one more time, then back toward the hallway, and finally his eyes settled on me. The tension was threatening to kill me.

"So, my last question…" he whispered hoarsely, leaning in, "Is this what you want?"

I didn't understand the question until I felt soft lips brush against mine a moment later. I melted, eyes fluttering open and shut repeatedly. Cupping his hand against the side of my face, he tried his best to hold me steady and keep me from falling out of my chair, all of my muscles seeming to turn to jelly. His lips moved against mine, and I could feel his hand roaming through my hair.

We kept going for what seemed like a blissful eternity, but he eventually forced himself back off of my lips. I moaned at the loss, but he just grinned widely before pulling me into a warm hug. I couldn't stop him if I had wanted to (and of course I didn't want to stop him); my limbs hung limp at my sides. No energy was flowing to my muscles, so I became putty in his hands.

After staying like that for a little while, Logan picked me up and carried me over to the couch. I giggled, regaining a bit of muscle control and nuzzling my head against his chest. Landing lightly on the orange sofa, I watched as he lay down pretty much on top of me, bringing his lips gently against my own. He slowly pulled back with a relaxed look. I turned onto my side, facing the back of the couch. He mimicked my action, except facing toward me instead. His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling me in closer.

"Carlos…"

"Yes?"

"Are you happy now?" he asked with his beautiful grin lighting up his features. I had never felt as good as I did now… except maybe during that dream. The warmth radiating off of his skin and the loving gaze in his eyes just made me cling to him tighter.

"You have no idea how happy I am now."

* * *

><p>AN: Well this one took longer than the others… mostly because I didn't write at all Wednesday or Thursday and I woke up this morning with a splitting headache. But that's all gone.

I suppose this turned out okay. Seems kind of unrealistic at points, but then again, it's a Fanfic, it can be as unrealistic as you want it to be.

I hope that it's okay if I use the idea I asked a question about at the end of last chapter, because I didn't get any response. Oh well. Just hope you all had a good time reading this chapter, see you next time.


	5. Dreams of Bliss

A/N: I've been being lazy. Sleeping really late, not leaving the house much, _not typing _(that's the big one)… Anyways, mega-thanks go out to _Sum1cooler_ for being awesome enough to review pretty much every chapter, but honestly all people who would review this are awesome.

Trying (but failing) to keep the author's note short. Disclaimers, rules, etc. are all still the same as before. This is the second chapter with a dream, so watch for boldface. The dreams actually have direct relevance in the story, so don't go saying anything about copy/paste even though that's what I'm doing sometimes :P

Let's roll on out.

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><p>Chapter V- Dreams of Bliss<p>

After our kiss Logan just gave up trying to work on homework for the rest of the day; I wouldn't leave him alone to work so he just left it behind on the table. For most of the day we just snuggled together on the couch, "watching" some TV, my head lying against his chest. I would occasionally turn my head away from the screen and nuzzle my face into his neck, and he would blush and smile warmly.

We slept in the same bed that night, even though Ms. Knight would've flipped out if she'd known. It was nice to have his arms wrapped around my waist, his warmth seeping into me and keeping my all comfy. I'm pretty sure my head must've been glued to its spot, because it didn't move from the crook of his neck all night long.

* * *

><p><strong>I saw light glinting off of the surface of the water around us. The area was empty except for the two of us, making the scene even more intimate, and we were just treading water in the center of the deep pool, both of us kicking as he held his arms around my shoulders. I leaned in and placed my lips against his once more, and he returned it with just as much enthusiasm as I used. Our first "date" had gone off without a single hitch.<strong>

* * *

><p>If Kendall hadn't come in and woken us up I'm sure we would've missed band practice for the day. He was standing there tapping his foot loudly against the floor when I woke up. I nudged my sleeping lover softly to wake him up. The look in Kendall's eyes basically told us to get a move on, but to me it said "No breakfast if you don't hurry," which was a statement I couldn't tolerate. Falling out of the bed I ran to the bathroom to get dressed and get ready, leaving Logan lying alone on the bed.<p>

Every second of that day, we were together in some way. Whether it was holding hands at the studio while Gustavo yelled in our faces, or at the pool and just sitting in loungers next to each other, or back at the apartment with me snuggling up against him and his hand running through my short hair. For the end of our day we quickly decided to have a movie marathon while Kendall went out skating and James went out for a James day (which consisted of heading to the mall to check out what was on sale in the beauty areas and going to visit his favorite hairdresser).

Their version of love was so different from ours. We almost never saw them together, whereas you couldn't separate me from Logan without a crowbar. Whenever they were out in the living room area of the apartment they would sit next to each other, but that was the extent of it. I guess they were more intimate behind closed doors or when alone, so we never saw it.

When James came bursting through the apartment door at around ten that night, he apparently found us cuddled up on the couch. According to him, Logan was starting to nod off and I was out cold. Logan confirmed I had been pretty much knocked out, which I completely agree to, but as soon as he tried to move, my eyes snapped open.

"Hey Mr. Pillow, where are you trying to go?" I yawned. Even though I had just woken up, I felt completely alert.

"We gotta go to bed hun," he replied with a sweet little kiss on my forehead. "It's late, and we have to be at the studio early tomorrow, and…" He droned on and on. I just watched his lips go from open to closed repeatedly, tuning his actual words out for a little bit. After a minute or so of his incessant chatter I leaned up and silenced him with a kiss on the lips.

"I got it. Sleepy time; but first, I want to do something with you, as a quick celebration.

"What exactly do you have in mind?" He was sleepy, but curious, that's for sure. I simply smirked at him before pecking him on the cheek.

"Trust me," I answered, grasping his hand in an unusually soft grasp and leading him to the apartment door. Before leaving, I turned to James, who was in the kitchen scavenging from the snacks that Logan and I had prepared earlier. "Tell Mama Knight that we'll be back in a bit if she asks," I said to him sternly. His head swiveled to look over at me, and the mischievous look in my eyes told him to nod slowly. Smiling widely, I led my new boyfriend out of 2J.

"Carlitos, where are we going?" Logan didn't like surprises, and he was in store for a pretty fun and semi-enjoyable time.

"Shhhh, it's a secret!" I replied happily, pushing the button for the first floor next the elevator.

As soon at the metal doors slid open I switch our positions and pushed him in. He turned to face me, opening his mouth to start interrogating me, but I just crushed my lips against his to keep him quiet. When the ding that signaled the first floor sounded, I reluctantly pulled back, intertwining our fingers and pulling him out of the box into the lobby. His heels started to slide on the floor; he was trying to get me to stop and explain what we were doing, but I was far too excited to let him stop me when we were so close to getting to our destination.

"Carlos!" he whispered as loudly as he could while still keeping his voice down. We were out on the pool deck. No lights were on at all, the only source of light being a beautiful full moon above and the stars surrounding it; no people were there other than the two of us; it was all so peaceful and romantic, with the moonlight glinting off of the calm pool water.

I pulled him closer to me and looked up into his shining brown eyes, seeing a look of confusion mixed with awe.

"This is… beautiful… and romantic… how did you know it would be this nice?"

"Well, it's close to 11:30 at night, the pool is closed, everyone is up in their rooms… I guess it must have been someone planning in our favor," I replied, the corners of my mouth tipping upwards as his eyes met mine.

"Carlos…"

"Look, it came to me in a dream, if that sounds logical to you," I conceded. He gave me a strange look before nodding his understanding. We stood still for a few more minutes, his arms around me and my forehead once again resting in the crook of his neck, before I broke the silence again.

"Babe…"

"Yes Carlos?"

"Would you consider this a first date? Even without movies, or dinner, or other random clichés?" I whispered to him with a tentative gaze deep into his eyes.

"I'll count it as that," was the reply I received. I leaned forward onto my tiptoes to kiss his lips on level so that he wouldn't have to lean down to me (I didn't love the fact that he's taller than me, but I could cope). He pulled his own head back a bit, away from the kiss. Confusion and rejection washed over me suddenly, but I waved them off when he motioned to a nearby pool lounger. We were about to sit down when I had a more fun idea. Without any warning whatsoever, I ducked down and grabbed a hold of his ankles.

"Carlos, what the hell?" His voice was rising from a whisper to something almost too loud, but he kept it under as much control as possible. I slung him over my shoulder and walked to the edge of the pool.

"3," I said loud enough for him to hear as I rocked back and forth at the pool's edge.

"Carlos, you had better not…"

"2…"

"I'm serious! We're gonna get in _so_ much trouble!"

"1!"

"Aw jeez…"

Seconds later, he hit the water with a mighty splash. I laughed and jumped in right after him, landing with a loud crash next to him. Upon resurfacing I was immediately hit with a splash in the face, which I promptly returned. After a short water fight we both just settled ourselves at the center of the pool, almost floating in the sparkling water.

I saw light glinting off of the surface of the water around us. The area was empty except for the two of us, making the scene even more intimate,and we were just treading water in the center of the deep pool, both of us kicking as he held his arms around my shoulders. I leaned in and placed my lips against his once more, and he returned it with just as much enthusiasm as I used. Our first "date" had gone off without a single hitch.

At midnight a chime went off, coming from my cell phone, which was luckily sitting near the pool's edge and was not in my pocket. We both swam over to check whatever it said. He hauled himself out of the water and strolled quietly over to a rack near the door.

-mom says back at the apt now, its late. Kendall-

"Well, it's time to go," I sighed as I looked over at my boyfriend, who was walking back over with two bright white towels.

"Yup, what time is it, like midnight?" came the reply and a smirk.

"Yup, that's right," I smiled. Unfolding one towel for himself, he handed me the other one. I removed it from his hand but quickly got a better idea. I was just so full of ideas lately.

We both wiped ourselves dry with our own towels, but as soon as we were done, he tried to wrap his towel around his upper half. I took the initiative to catch him in the middle of the action, stopping him and slipping beneath it and walking huddled right up next to him. As went moved, I snuggled into his warmth and breathed in his scent, which had a heavy mix-in of chlorine. If Bitters used any more of the stuff in that pool he was going to be getting sued for poisoning people soon enough.

We got up to 2J pretty quickly. I slowly and quietly opened the heavy door, which squeaked loudly in protest to moving. I looked around to check if we were clear to enter, beckoning Logan to follow when I didn't see any threats. We tiptoed inside and started down the hallway to our shared room when Logan tapped my shoulder. I turned to see him pointing at the couch, where James and Kendall were asleep in the exact same spot we had been in a little more than two hours earlier, both of them completely knocked out and cuddled up against each other.

'_Only intimate when they're "alone".'_

I suppressed an "Awww", just giggling softly in response to the display of cuteness.

We each took a quick 5-minute shower to make the chlorine smell disappear before slipping into Logan's bed. We slept wrapped in each other's arms. I have to say that was one of the best nights of sleep I've ever gotten in my life; the only better one being the night before.

* * *

><p>It took almost three weeks before I really felt fully comfortable being open with Logan in public. But after I decided it was okay it felt like a weight lifted off of my shoulders. By that point we were spending pretty much every second of every day together. Any time that we were out of the apartment I would intertwine my fingers with his and lean into him a bit. He would chuckle and grin that beautiful grin as I did, seeming a little embarrassed by my clinginess. I was just showing the people around us that he was mine. Never theirs.<p>

As soon as we would get back to the apartment or somewhere private, however, he would assert his dominance by pulling me into a suffocating lip lock that I enjoyed every second of. I was so in love with him, and I had never been this happy before in my life. If this was a dream, then I hoped I was in a coma, because I never wanted this to end.

* * *

><p>AN: Yay, I got over my bout of laziness for the time being to write some more! It's actually not only laziness, I'm overly critical of my work…. And I'm a grammar Nazi so that doesn't help out much with speed either.

I hope you all liked this chapter, but I hope Carlos doesn't seem too extremely clingy and possessive. If you have the time please do review, I need the feedback. Well, until next chapter, have a good whatever-time-it-is!


	6. Dreams of Adoration

A/N: Okay so I've had a massive head cold preventing me from thinking as of late. I woke up at 3PM the other day… then fell asleep from 8 to 11 after that… basically I've gotten my fair share of sleep. And then I got into the mess of helping out at a summer math camp… being in Calculus doesn't mean that I remember back far enough to help with simple pre-algebra.

On a lighter note, I did start to feel better today (currently June 7th at 3AM; I get the feeling that listening to a ton of Michelle Branch and Owl City helped cure me), and I'm happy to report that I should be thinking straight enough to get up another chapter other than this one this week.

There's a little bit of adult theme in this chapter near the first page break (like 6 paragraphs up from it). Just skip it if you really want to, but I wouldn't if I was just reading this and someone else was writing it.

Well, in the spirit of writing, let's get this theoretical show on the proverbial road!

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><p>Chapter VI- Dreams of Adoration<p>

It had been a month and a half since the day Logan had kissed my lips and sealed our relationship. We were still going strong, but this was the point where I felt something was about to go wrong. Every morning lately I would wake up enveloped in his warm embrace, and although I would feel loved and completely happy, I would also have some sort of nagging suspicion that a fog was coming down in our relationship. Something that was keeping us from seeing each other completely straight. I would push that thought to the back of my mind and prop myself up on my elbows, glancing down at him and chuckling as he shifted and awoke.

"Morning Carli," he yawned, not even able to finish the cute pet name that everyone used to use but he now claimed as his own. I smiled brightly at him, and simply lay back down next to him, feeling his arms wrap around my half-bare form again. "You ready for another eventful day at Rocque Records?" he asked with a quick smirk. He was baiting me, tempting me to spray out expletives about Gustavo, or Mr. X, or the studio, or dancing, because of what had happened the day before. He really loved my…. colorful… vocabulary.

I scowled and groaned angrily at the memory. We were working on the dance to our next hit, "The City is Ours", for an extra special video that would be making a premier worldwide in a few weeks. I had to do a back flip in the middle of the song, and I had barely even learned to do it correctly. Logan tried to help me learn to flip right (he was actually a star gymnast back at our school in Minnesota before he joined hockey), but I would still mess up and land wrong, falling off of my feet and onto my face. Gustavo got really angry when we were in the middle of the song and I fell flat on my face, just yelling and screaming a few words that would shock a longshoreman as Logan, Kendall, and James checked to see if I was okay. It was the sixth time that day that I had fucked up the landing and hit my forehead on the floor, and Gustavo just got angrier with each time I hit the floor.

"DO IT AGAIN!" he shouted from the sound booth. Kelly looked on from behind him, genuinely concerned for my health and safety. I had definitely hit my head pretty hard with the last one, and since this was going to be in a music video I wasn't allowed to wear my helmet during practice. Something about how "If I wore it during practice I wouldn't know how to dance without it on" or some bullshit like that.

After four more faceplants I finally landed it correctly, causing Gustavo to cry out in happiness right after, causing all four of us to fall off balance and land in a heap on the floor. Of course I was on the bottom, my head smacking against the cold wood. Kelly had cancelled the rest of the practice for the day, fearing that I would get and concussion or suffer severe head trauma or become a vegetable.

"We're going to miss breakfast if you don't hurry hun," I heard in my ear. I shook my head, sending the flashback away, realizing that I was sitting alone on Logan's bed in just my bright yellow and red striped boxers with the brunette boy staring me in the eyes. He had apparently gotten fully dressed and was doing his hair blindly while gazing into my half closed eyes. "You went away to La-La-Land for a while, and since you weren't responding to anything else I decided to motivate you. With food." He knows me so well.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm going," I responded lazily, standing up and stretching my arms up to the ceiling. I was rudely interrupted in the middle of the action when I felt one of Logan's fingers jab me in the center of my stomach. I gave him a quick glare (not an angry one, a "why did you do that" sort of glare), but he ignored it and pressed his lips against my own. We stayed plastered together for about a minute, my lips moving with his, but he eventually pulled his face away from mine. I groaned at the loss, and he simply winked and smiled brilliantly at me, the fingers on his right hand tracing lines on my somewhat defined abs.

"I'm going out to the kitchen to prepare breakfast, you go ahead and get dressed," he instructed me, to which I gave a curt nod. "I picked out an outfit for you, it's sitting on the counter in the bathroom," he added.

"Yes sir," I replied, puffing out my chest and saluting him as if he were an army commander addressing the troops. He just rolled his eyes at me and turned to leave the room. I stood still for a few more seconds, watching him leave, before remembering my current situation.

Get dressed. Right.

I walked into the bathroom and looked down at the counter in front of me, looking for the clothes Logan mentioned. I spotted them at the edge, but decided to leave them alone until I finished my morning routine. I shaved. I brushed my teeth. I took a tiny bit of Logan's gel and spiked my hair up in the now signature Carlos fashion. Once I finally finished I looked more closely at the pieces Logan had chosen for me to wear.

Clean boxers? Normal. Bleach white socks? Normal. Dark blue jeans, a little faded? Normal. What caught my eye was the shirt, which was sitting on the bottom.

It was pink. FUCKING PINK. I picked it up and examined it more. A long sleeved, form-fitting, completely spotless flamingo pink v-neck shirt. The v-shape extended down to meet the center of my chest, right over my heart. Even though I was frowning on the outside, I smiled inwardly. The shirt was, in a word, perfect. I slipped it on, admiring how it hugged my body. I rolled the sleeves up to about the middle of my forearm, smiling widely at my reflection. I felt sexy to say the least.

Walking out of the bathroom confidently, I wandered over to my nightstand and grabbed my watch. I stopped to decide on which necklace would match the new shirt, and I settled for the one with a single shark tooth on a leather cord that I had bought at a street faire a couple years earlier. I then exited the bedroom, ready to confront the day.

Mama Knight glanced over at me from the table to say good morning, then did a double take.

"…Carlos?"

"Yes ma'am?"

"Are you okay, that's not normally what you would wear," she asked, with a skeptical look on her face. She had never seen me wear any bright colors other than orange in my life, especially not pink. This was new to her.

"Actually," I started with a smirk, "I feel _fabulous_." I drew out the last word, making sure to drag it on as long as I could without sounding completely ridiculous. The word just sounded right to describe my mood.

"Pink is totally his color mom," I heard Katie say from the other end of the table. We all laughed at that. Logan walked in seconds later, carrying two plates with chocolate chip pancakes stacked high on them, but he froze upon laying his eyes on me in his choice of clothing.

'_I guess he likes what he sees,'_ I thought happily.

I posed for him, sticking my hands in my pockets and tipping my head a little bit backward before showing off a smile full of white teeth. The plates clattered to the floor (thank god they were plastic), and his jaw dropped at the sight. He just stood still, trying to start a coherent sentence but failing. My smile grew wider at the sight of the most intelligent person in the household being lost for words.

"LOGAN!" Mama Knight yelled, snapping him out of his stupor.

"Shoot," he sighed, staring at the sugary, doughy mess on the floor around his feet. He leaned down to start cleaning up, and I swiftly walked over and bent down to offer my aid. As soon as I came into his line of sight he froze up again, me not being sure if it was a good or bad thing. I waved my hand in front of his eyes and he shook his head back and forth before staring into my eyes. Leaning in close, he brought his lips close to my ears.

"I have never wanted you more than right now," he whispered in my ear seductively, sending a shiver running up and down my spine. Logan never talked dirty, and it was a thrill to hear him blatantly asking me for sex. He leaned back again and looked right in my eyes, his own pupils blown wide with lust.

"You have no idea how much I've wanted you," I replied. I wanted nothing more than for him to pull me to our bedroom and take me right at that instant. I felt my member begin to perk up, and I used all of my willpower to try to force it down. Let's just say I failed. Logan obviously noticed, licking his lips as he watched the bulge grow in my rapidly tightening pants. He chuckled and leaned forward, pressing his lips softly against my own and his hand palming my erection before he trailed his mouth down my chin and onto my neck. I closed my eyes and moaned softly as he increased the pressure of his mouth on my neck and while his hand began to grasp my crotch more tightly.

That's when I heard someone clear his throat from behind me. My eyes immediately snapped open and I looked up to see Kendall standing over the two of us, James leaning on his shoulder. Both of them had a smirk on their face that was full of awe and embarrassment and that obviously said "I can't believe you two just did that." I felt a rush of air from my front turning to see Logan _sprinting_ for the kitchen. I gave the pair a quick glare before I ran after him, and upon entering the kitchen I saw him washing the dishes he had dropped furiously, his face red as a fire truck. There were tears streaming down his face.

He knew he had gone over the line, and although it had been a massive turn on to have him dominate me like he had been trying for those few minutes, I knew that he was devastated. He was so embarrassed about being caught in such a moment of passion and what he probably thought of as bad decisions. It was my turn to be his rock. Walking to be behind him, I wrapped my arms around his waist and rested my chin on his shoulder. I rocked us back and forth gently, whispering in his ear.

"I still love you Logie, don't worry."

"But I took it too far…"

"No, you didn't. I was ready; it just wasn't the right place or the right time. I promise you that I'll be just as ready next time," I said softly. He turned his head to face my own, looking me directly in the eyes. Seeing the sincerity in my gaze, he smiled, wiped the tears away, and finished the dishes.

* * *

><p>We had to settle for strawberry pop-tarts that morning since Logan spilled our pancakes and didn't have enough time to make new ones. Or at least what was advertised as "strawberry". They were horrible; disgusting; repulsive; mostly because they were dry and flavorless. I couldn't tell why anyone would willingly eat them. Glancing over at Katie and seeing two of them sitting on her plate, I gagged silently. Did she really eat these pieces of cardboard every morning?<p>

The ride to Rocque Records was silent. Awkwardly silent even. Neither Kendall nor James had mentioned my clothing yet that morning. Strangely, the dominance in Logan's and my relationship had switched hands for a while, as I was the one cradling Logan in my arms, I was the one whispering sweet nothings into my lover's ear, and I was the one who had a dozing forehead nestled in the crook of my neck as I held the rest of his body. I would glance across and seeing Kendall smirking at me with the occasional raised eyebrow and James staring out the window as if deep in thought.

When we arrived we were quickly ushered onto the dance floor. Kelly complimented my wardrobe before closing the door behind me and disappearing into the sound booth.

"Dogs," we heard Gustavo say unusually calmly. Something was up. "I hope we don't have any problems like yesterday, because I got two things that should serve as motivation."

"And what would those be?" Kendall asked, the defiance in his voice clear as ever. "Are you going to threaten to take away our pool privileges or something?"

"Don't give him ideas!" I hissed at Kendall angrily, almost tackling him to the ground.

"WORSE!" Gustavo yelled from the booth. We covered our ears as microphone feedback sounded through the studio. "Freight Train has something that is quite precious to you," he threatened with a cruel smile. All four of us turned to look at Freight Train over in the corner of the room. I let loose a high-pitched scream of terror.

"SWIRLY!" I wailed, hearing Gustavo cackling in the background. Freight Train was standing next to a large cart with the pieces of our amazing yellow swirly slide resting on it. I turned back to Gustavo and stared daggers at him, my anger almost tangible. Logan, Kendall, and James all backed away a little bit, sensing the anger flowing out of me. Gustavo was unfazed.

"And if that isn't enough, I had those beauties imported especially for all of you!" he laughed madly, pointing behind us.

"You're not really going to lock them inside of Iron Maidens if they don't do this right, are you?" Kelly asked, the concern and confusion clear in her voice.

"Only if they really do it wrong. Now dogs, dance!"

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><p>Needless to say, we perfected the dance that day. No Iron Maidens or whatever they were, no painful head cracks, and no more kidnapped Swirly. The ride back to the Palm Woods was pleasant, Logan retaking his dominant role in our relationship by cradling me in his arms and whispering about his fantasies that we could never live out as we rode in the limo. I chuckled at a few, some of them were completely ridiculous.<p>

The four of us spent the rest of the day relaxing on the orange couch of 2J and watching television. Nobody mentioned that morning or my clothing for a few hours before James spoke up.

"So what up with the sudden pink Carlos?" he randomly asked during a commercial break. I glanced over at him, then down to my shirt, and finally back to James.

"I don't know where the shirt actually came from, but Logan picked my outfit today," I answered. That was pretty much the extent of my knowledge of the pink shirt. Other than that it made Logan absolutely crazy with lust the first time he saw it on me.

"Well it looks good on you," Kendall complimented. I thanked him graciously. "You may become the new face with looks like those," he quickly added with a trademark Knight smirk, James looking at him in disbelief.

"I agree with that completely," Logan nodded, relishing in the look on James' face, who looked back and forth between the two of them repeatedly before pulling out his mirror and lucky comb.

"How could he be the face when I look like a God?" James asked frantically, moving his hands up and down in his regular little jazz-hands gesture. Kendall, Logan, and I laughed and conceded that he could still be the face of the band, causing him to calm down. We stayed on the couch for pretty much the rest of the day, only getting up to go to the bathroom or get food and once it was time for bed.

Logan invited me to take a before-bed shower with him, but I sadly turned him down, saying that I would take one in the morning. He pouted at me, trying to catch me with puppy eyes, but they didn't work. I was immune. After ten minutes he joined me in bed, and I placed myself up against him. He wrapped his arms around me and quickly fell asleep. I was dragged into unconsciousness shortly after him, happy that I was in his embrace upon drifting into sleep. However, I quickly took an unhappy turn. This wasn't a nice night for dreaming.

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><p>AN: And so finishes the chapter that was never supposed to be! Haha, this chapter wasn't actually planned, but I felt that the next planned chapter didn't fit in with how the plot was going, so I added a little more fluff and relationship development. Don't worry, there will be a lot more suggestive themes in later chapters (definitely in 12 and/or 13, but possibly earlier).

I hope that you guys can actually imagine the outfit I detailed on him. Honestly that outfit absolutely makes this chapter for me (I think it's so cute!), and just getting to use the idea earlier than I had planned to before was also nice.

Well, the next few chapters is where the adversity begins! Please review, this chapter kinda built itself off the cuff, and I really hope it turned out well even though it was written from 3AM to 5AM.

Until next time, this is me signing off! Have a good one!


	7. Dreams of Fear

A/N: (singing) I wish that we could sail our sad days away. Forever. In deep blue seas of paper-mâchée. Let's dance in the moonlight… (notices people reading) Oh, hi there. It's very early in the morning and I am absolutely addicted to all of "All Things Bright and Beautiful" by Owl City, and it's keeping me from sleeping.

Thanks to Couellette and Sum1cooler for reviews of chapter 6 and thanks for wishing my sickness away (which is now gone :D).

Nightmares are SO MUCH FUN. I absolutely love the ideas I'm going to put in here, they're so evil, and devious, and devilish, and just plain _delicious_ :D …Okay maybe that's an exaggeration, but they're pretty mean and I enjoyed writing this because I know how to and enjoy inflicting pain on peoples' psyche (my friends call me a psychopath sometimes; I don't believe it).

Anyways, blah, disclaimers, blah, rules, blah, show on the road, blah!

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><p>Chapter VII- Dreams of Fear<p>

That night started out nicely. I fell asleep in my beautiful brunette's embrace with a smile on my face at around 11:50. However, the night almost immediately turned harsh inside the confines of my subconscious.

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><p><strong>Logan and I were sitting calmly on the sofa of 2J, with me basically straddling his lap and leaning against him. No one else was around. His hand was slowly stroking through my hair, and I felt love radiating from him and practically seeping through my skin. I was so happy at the time, but that's when I began to feel things warp around me.<strong>

**The "reality" that I was experiencing dropped away suddenly and I began to fall straight down. Darkness surrounded me and I was falling down into it, the only light being that which emanated off of me so that I could see my limbs. I could have sworn heard Logan's voice calling me from some direction, but I couldn't make out the exact words. Imaginary wind whistled in my ears and I felt my skin beginning to sting as the air lashed against it as I continued to fall faster.**

"**LOGAN?" I screamed out into the darkness, but my words were muffled by the rushing gusts around me, and as soon as I finished the word I felt the air being sucked out of my body. I quickly closed my mouth and slammed my eyes shut.**

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><p>"Car…los?" came a whispered reply in my ear. I opened my eyes to see our bedroom, normal as ever, no dark abyss or freezing blasts of wind. I quickly sat up in bed, dragging a now quite alert Logan up with me. Turning to him, I glanced past him at the clock.<p>

'_12:10.'_

I then looked at Logan. He had a terrified and concerned look in his eyes, staring directly into my eyes as if he were reading my brain for clues as to what happened.

"What is it Logie?" I asked calmly. My heart was pounding almost out of control, and I felt his hand ghost over my chest to check that massive pulse. His eyes widened in shock and he pulled my body close to his, his warmth flowing over my smaller frame as he began to speak quietly into my ear.

"It was just a nightmare baby. Nothing bad has happened to you, just calm down," he tried to soothe me. "You yelled my name really loud and it woke me up, so I had to check if you're okay." His concern was tangible. "Want to talk about it?" he asked as calmly as he could. I could hear his voice shaking from the fear he had of what had happened, but I was still shocked that my dream had caused me to cry out in real life. My head slowly shook from side to side; I was staring into the voids in both of his very dilated pupils and completely spacing out.

He paused, scanning over me with caring eyes before laying me back down and placing himself back next to me. His arms wrapped tightly around me, pulling me in much closer than before. We were both scared to death, but after five minutes both of us were drifting off once again.

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><p><strong>Logan and I were at the dinner table. In this dream I apparently had no recollection of the other dream that had finished only a couple minutes before. We were both laughing about some jokes that happened before I had actually gotten into the situation, but he seemed to act distant.<strong>

"**Logie, you okay?" I asked with a sudden twang of sadness. My smile turned down into a frown when he sighed.**

"**Carlos," he began, but stopped, scratching the back of his head. He was planning his words for something. "Look, I have to come clean and say this," he continued with hurt and confusion in his eyes, his expression suddenly stony looking. I had no idea what he was going to say next, but my heart was immediately weighed down by those few words.**

"**I don't think this is working."**

"…**what?" I was stunned. "B-but… Logan… I-"**

"**You see," he cut me off as I began my sentence, "I think I may be in love with someone else."**

**My heart shattered. Literally fell to pieces. I stood up quickly and began to stammer and rant at him mindlessly.**

"**Logan, we've shared so much love! Only yesterday you said you wanted in my pants for the first time and I AGREED to any time you wanted! We whisper things to each other that NOBODY should ever hear," I rambled desperately, my voice rising and starting to hitch as sobs interrupted my speech, tears streaming down my face in waterfalls. "I love you so much! I couldn't possibly imagine anyone I'd rather be with and I thought you felt the same!"**

**He looked up at me, his expression cold and his eyes glazed. "Look. It's over. Move on without me, because I'm going on without you," he said flatly, with no love in his gaze. He stood up from the table slowly and walked in the direction of the apartment door. I tried to block his path but he pushed me roughly out of the way, sending me tumbling haphazardly to the ground.**

**Upon reaching the door, he swung it open wide with a quick tug. It slammed into the wall and stuck itself open as if by magic. I looked up and growled. Standing in the doorway was Camille, her eyes shining brightly and mischievously as she scanned up and down Logan's body. I growled lowly as she wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself close to him. He smiled widely and wrapped his arms around her waist.**

**I glared at the two of them; I'm the one who is supposed to be in Logan's arms. I jumped to my feet and headlong charged at them, tears flying out of the corners of my eyes. I got within two feet of them when I was suddenly stopped dead in my tracks.**

**It was as if I had hit an electric dog fence. I felt an excruciating pain, as if I was being electrocuted, but my eyes also acted as if they were glued open. I was being forced to watch Camille steal my boyfriend. And he was enjoying it. They both turned their heads to looked at me, Camille giving me a sarcastic smile and Logan giving me a terribly sadistic looking grin. They then turned back to each other and placed their lips together.**

**That part is what killed me. Every time one of the pair's lips moved against the other's, there was a surge of the electric whatever that made me scream in agony. Now my eyes were being shut so hard I felt like the muscles of my eyelids were going to rip. I was forced down to my knees by the awful pain. After about a minute I heard their amorous sounds stop and I pulled my eyelids up again. They had separated their mouths and turned to look at me again. The power surges stopped, and I was now just being held in place again by small shocks that kept me immobilized.**

**They each had a smug grin plastered on their face, as if they took some amount of sick joy from watching me suffer. Logan then leaned down to look me in the eyes before grinning devilishly and pulling his face back. He bent over and kissed along Camille's jaw line, each kiss sending shockwaves rippling through my body. She was definitely enjoying both my suffering and the attention Logan was giving her.**

**I endured what felt like hours of torment, watching them flirt, make out, and touch each other. Eventually, one of them spoke.**

"**Ready to leave this idiot behind forever?" Camille cooed softly into my former boyfriend's ear.**

"**Why didn't you come sooner, you?" he asked in reply with a malicious smile in my direction. I was still stuck in my spot, but I mustered a low growl. "Awww, Carlitos," he looked down at me, eyes sparkling lightly but each word dripping with venom and death, "You should be happy, now you can be pathetic and not weigh me down anymore. It's like a burden off of your shoulders since you don't have to feel guilty for dragging me down to your level."**

**That's the point when I completely lost it. I ignored the massive burst of pain that was involved with willingly moving, bringing my fist directly into the once beautiful and adoring face that was now twisted and demonic to me. Quickly standing, I bore down on him with all of my wrath. My fists flew at him in a flurry, Camille watching on in sheer terror as I tried to murder Logan with my bare hands. I felt bones breaking under every blow. A rib here, an arm there, it didn't matter to me. I was turning him into a bloodied pulp, and I swore that he was going to die by my hand for what he had been doing to me.**

**And it felt AMAZING.**

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><p>My eyes fluttered open. I was staring into Logan's bare shoulder, and his arms were still wrapped around my body. I shifted my body so that I could see the clock.<p>

'_2:52.'_

The hours and hours I felt of excruciating dream had taken only two and a half hours to unfold. My whole body ached, as if the pain I had experienced had translated somehow into the real world. I felt dried tears on my face, and my eyes were stinging from the extensive crying I had apparently done while asleep.

I looked up at Logan's face. Luckily I hadn't actually punched him during my dream; he was still sound asleep. The only way my dream had affected him was that there were dried tears on his neck and chest from where the droplets had fallen from my face. The scariest thing was that as soon as I saw his face I felt the urge to maul him, but I pushed that remnant of the dream away. I shuddered as a cool breeze wafted through the room. I turned my body so that my head was leaning into his neck again and tried to fall asleep.

My attempts at slumber were futile, so I nudged my sleeping lover a bit. His eyes opened slowly, then looked at me, the gaze full of tenderness and love.

"May I help you?" he yawned, clearly tired but still happy to see me.

"I can't sleep, will you sing for me?" I asked softly, pouting at him and giving him the puppy eyes. He rolled his own eyes before humming out a quick bit of a song before launching into the chorus of "Any Kind of Guy" for me. I was happy to hear him replace the word "girl" with "man".

"_Any kind of guy you want, man,_

_that's the guy I'll be._

_Turn myself upside-down._

_(Yes I will. Yes I will.)_

_Any kind of guy you want, man,_

_you know I'll agree._

_Turn your whole world around._

_(Yes I will. Yes I will.)_

_Any kind, any kind_

_Any kind of guy you want_

_You decide, change your mind_

_I will be there_

_Won't you try_

_One more try_

_Be my any kind of man_

_You decide, it's alright_

_I will be there."_

After that last line my eyes closed and I began to drift. I can't even remember how far he kept going with the song.

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><p><strong>I didn't know what had been done, but I knew it was something stupid from the feeling of dread I had. And the fact that the bedroom was on fire. I coughed and hacked as the acrid smoke filled my lungs. I turned to Logan, who was lying on the bed with his eyes closed. Both of us were fully clothed, but I didn't question it as I freaked out, grabbing him and shaking his limp body violently.<strong>

"**Logan!" I cried at him. No response. Frustrated and scared, I yelled louder, but got nothing again. I raised my hand, prepared to slap him, but hesitated. If the yelling didn't work the smack probably wouldn't either. I had one more option before I just had to carry him. I crushed my lips against his, and as soon as my lips touched against his the chocolate orbs were flung wide open.**

"**Carlos?" he said, the panic clear in his voice as he looked around. Flames were licking at the corners of the bedposts and we quickly stood up on part of the wood floor that wasn't burning. "We have to get out now!" he yelled even though I was only two feet away. Taking my hand, he led me on a path of untouched wood on an aisle in between roaring walls of fire. We made it to the door of our bedroom, opening it to find the entire living room and kitchen beyond were also on fire.**

"**Logan! Carlos!" I heard Kendall's voice ring out. We both looked around, the bright reds and oranges of the fires disorienting us. Both of our eyes eventually settled on the doorway out of 2J, seeing Kendall, James, Katie, and Mama Knight standing outside in the hallway, the sprinklers going off out there but doing nothing to quell the conflagration in the apartment. "Follow the path," I heard him call to us, seeing a path created by more completely unscathed wood leading in a maze around the apartment floor.**

**We wandered through the maze of fire until we came close to the exit. Logan pulled me a little faster, both of us rushing to get out and into the safe wetness of the sprinklers. That's when I heard a loud crack sound out above us. We both looked up, and I could see a ceiling beam starting to weaken right above our heads. In a flash, Logan switched places with me, pushing me toward the door.**

"**LOGAN NO!" I screamed at him, but it was too late. The beam fell, crushing his body to the floor underneath it. I was about to rush to get him out when I felt a strong hand pull me back. "Kendall let me go!" I wailed as I watched Logan's clothes catch fire. Logan gave me a sad smile before placing his hands under his chin, relaxing his head in his final moments. He then opened his mouth to speak.**

"**Remember this always Carlos," he yelled over the creaking of breaking support beams, "I loved you with all my heart." Then he screamed in agony once before a ceiling beam dropped in front of the door.**

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><p>I sat up in the bed, my body drenched in sweat. Apparently my body heat had forced Logan to let me go, as he was turned the other way and partially outside the covers. I looked at the clock once more.<p>

'_5:19'_

The ten minutes of dream had taken over two and a quarter hours to finish. It had all gone by in such a blur… I had felt dread, panic, security, and grief within that seemingly short period of time, and they were lingering we me and staying in my thoughts.

I decided that now was the time for my shower. I couldn't go back to sleep and face whatever the next horror that my imagination brought on would be.

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><p>AN: I love this chapter. And I love hurting people. Does that make me an awful person? Yeah, I think it does. But I embrace my awfulness.

Anways, I hope I wrote this to be unbelievable at points, since the second dream (which took _two and a half pages _in Microsoft word) is really supposed to be twisted and horrible. Now you all feel sorry for Carlos; I give you a :D for finding the point of this chapter. But next chapter you certainly won't feel as bad for him (hint is: he does something that isn't too pity worthy, if you catch my drift).

Anyways, I'm going to sleep now because I poured all of my energy into this chapter. Please do review, I want to know if I was horrible enough to Carlos to make you pity him. I'll make it up to you by being really nice to him in every chapter after…um… 11? 12? I don't remember. Anyways, thanks for reading, and good morning/afternoon/night to you all!


	8. Dreams of Fury

A/N: Hey guys… I feel absolutely awful for not posting this sooner, I basically just finished writing it… again. I started it on Tuesday the 14th (yes, that is _last_ Tuesday), but ended up reading through it and rewriting small parts… then big parts… then scrapping and rewriting it completely. This happened 6 times. I'm still not even sure how well it turned out, I feel like it's a little over the top.

Thanks to _Lewkis, comics lover, Sum1cooler, irishoreo, _and _hahippy_ for reviewing last chapter, and thanks to all the others who put this on story alert. And when you read "not pity worthy", I think you interpreted it in the wrong direction. Totally wrong. Just read the title of this chapter and you'll see that.

Anyways, disclaimers are the same, except for an added one- violence in this chapter. Not too horrible, but definitely not just a slap, that's for sure. Let's get moving.

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><p>Chapter VIII- Dreams of Fury<p>

The bathroom door opened with a loud squeak, and I peered around the corner to make sure that it hadn't woken my sleeping angel of a boyfriend. He rolled onto his other side, but that was it. He didn't stir, and I smiled softly at how cute he looked. They say that I'm the adorable one of the band, but lately that role had been taken up by Logan if you asked me. _'I'm the sexy one,'_ I thought with a smirk as James' expression from the night before when Kendall and Logan called me "the face" popped into my head.

My head turned back to the bathroom when the door creaked as it began to shut again. I then remembered my current state: covered in sweat from the awful nightmares I'd had that night. Still quite shaken from them, I shuddered and pushed the door back open, trying to erase the memories of those terrible dreams.

They just wouldn't go away. I stared at myself in the mirror after turning on the water, noticing that my eyes were cloudy and distant looking. However, as soon as I took note of them, they cleared up. I sighed as the mirror began to fog up, stripping off my sweat-soaked boxers and stepping in the shower stall. Warm steam instantly enveloped me and I relaxed a bit when the hot water touched my tan skin. I spaced out a bit, standing under the stream and pondering the meaning of the wretched nightmares I had had.

After what felt like only a short period of time I heard a knock on the door, coming from the door that lead into Kendall and James' room.

"Just a second please," I whisper-yelled, turning off the water and wrapping a towel around my waist. Stepping over toward the door, I turned the handle and pulled it to find Kendall looking down at me, wearing nothing but a pair of long green boxers that matched his eyes. "Yes?" I asked in my sweetest tone with a saccharine smile. He seemed completely unfazed by how cute I was trying to be, immediately piercing my expression with his own. My smile dropped.

"You always take really long showers when something is wrong," he said simply. He was right of course, I do, although I had only been in the shower for- "You've been in there for forty minutes," he read my thoughts, his expression full of concern. "What's wrong? James and I were woken up by your scream at like ten minutes past midnight, and we both knew something happened. Even though we knew Logan would comfort you we wanted to know what it was. So talk." Once he finished he simply crossed his arms across his bare chest, shifting his weight and staring coldly and piercingly into my eyes.

I tried to avoid his gaze, but Kendall always gets you and finds out whatever he wants to know. After a few futile seconds of trying to resist the bright green eyes boring into me, I caved.

"Okay, look, it was just a nightmare," I started, but he cut me off.

"There's way more to it than that." He's good at this.

"Okay, not just one, it was a few nightmares. But they're nothing," I lied. He sighed loudly, clearly annoyed.

"Keep going, I know there's more."

"Kendall…"

"Carlos- I _always_ win this little 'game'. Spit it out now before I have to pry it out of you." I shrunk back a little as he stepped forward once. He's right that he always wins; none of the three of us could ever hide things from him.

"Okay! So I had three different dreams that I can remember from last night. The first one was some sort of falling dream where I didn't know what was going on and that's the one where I screamed Logan's name," I hurriedly described. He raised a hand to his chin, then nodded.

"Go on."

I was suddenly filled with dread as the second nightmare refilled my memory. He apparently saw it in my expression, as the corners of his mouth shifted downward.

"Well… the second nightmare I had was something that I really don't want to-"

"Carlos," he stepped forward once again.

"FINE!" I held my hands up in front of me to stop him. He stepped back again and watched me fidget from nervousness and fear. "So I was sitting at the table with Logan. We were laughing about something… and then he randomly broke up with me. I cried and tried to get him to reconsider, but he just pushed me away and then I was forced to watch him hook up with Camille right in our front doorway. I tried to separate them but I got stuck… it hurt so much… and after a bit of flirting with _her_," I hissed the word, "he taunted me about it." Tears began to roll down my face and my breathing hitched a bit with each word that came next. "And then I punched him. I beat him up so hard that he was unrecognizable, but I couldn't stop… because it felt so good… I was going to freaking kill him…"

Kendall didn't respond. He took a couple steps back and leaned against the doorframe, eyebrows furrowed and eyes staring into the space just over my shoulder. He was thinking of what to say, but that didn't help my current state. I was sobbing madly, tears falling directly from my cheeks to the floor as my head tilted down. After a couple minutes of silence, the only sound being my sniffles, I felt a large hand on my shoulder and another under my chin. My head was pulled back upward, and my eyes rested on his only an inch away. Both the tip of his nose and his forehead were pressed against my own, and he was staring as if he were looking through my eyes. His emerald orbs were mesmerizing; I couldn't look away from the shining green, and they made me feel safe and warm. My tears quickly halted.

A few more seconds passed with the two of us just standing like that before he pulled his face back. "Now that you're calmed down," he began, "maybe you can tell me about your final dream." I backed up a bit and leaned against the sink counter.

"The last dream," I breathed quietly, forcing him to lean in closer, "was almost as bad as the second." I shuddered again, and looked back over to Kendall. His eyes were closed, but he was still listening intently. "The apartment was on fire, and Logan and I were trying to escape. We got really close to the door, and a big beam was gonna fall on me, but he pushed me out of the way. He sacrificed himself for me… he died saving my life, and I couldn't take it. That's when I woke up and came in here for a shower. I couldn't go back to bed." I began to tear up once more, but Kendall wiped them away quickly, placing a hand back on my shoulder.

"Look," he said bluntly, "I'm sorry to have to say this so outright, but you have to cope and move on. They're just dreams, they don't apply in real life. It is very, _very_ unlikely that you'll fall into an endless void, or that the apartment will catch fire, or that Logan would _ever _decide to break up with you for _Camille_." He shivered at the name before continuing. "He loves you more than life itself and would probably never be the same without you. He would crush himself more than you by breaking up with you. So suck it up and don't worry; dreams can't hurt you," he finished, leaning back up and staring at me with his arms crossed over his chest again.

I mulled over what he had said. There was nothing but truth in what he had told me, and it made me glad that he had interrupted my overly long shower.

"Now, are you going to give up the bathroom? We've been here talking for almost half an hour now, so it's time to start getting ready for practice today," he said calmly, a Knight family trademarked smirk crossing his face. I beamed at him and pulled him into an extremely tight hug, comforted by his heat and the hard muscles of his chest (damn he was in great shape, James had a definite keeper). He was a little surprised, but he eventually hugged me back.

I let go after about ten seconds, then walked out of the bathroom and looked at the clock to verify what Kendall had said about the time.

'_6:48.'_

I tiptoed over to the dresser in order to avoid waking Logan. I pulled the drawer open and got dressed silently.

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><p>The rehearsal day went by in a blur, with no annoyances, anger, or head trauma to speak of, and we were back at the Palm Woods in what felt like no time. I got up to the apartment first, fidgeting with the doorknob until Kendall came up and unlocked the door. I barged in and plopped down on one of the stools at the bar in the kitchen. Logan came around the other side and put on an adorable grin.<p>

"What'll it be, milady?" he mused, snickering as my face reddened.

"Hey mister, I may be the sub here but you aren't allowed to call me a chick," I retorted, just earning a laugh from him and Kendall and James.

"You're also the one who has a recent affinity for pink," James called to me from over by the table, causing the already reddish color in my face to become considerably darker. That blush just earned another laugh from the three of them. I tried to shake the statement off.

"_Anyways_," I made sure to emphasize how much I wanted the topic to change, "can you just grab me a soda from the fridge and a cookie from that plate?" I asked, pointing him in the general direction.

"Will do Carlitos," he replied with a cute little grin. As he did what I asked I smiled and turned to make conversation with Kendall and James, but they had all but disappeared in the short time that had passed since James had zinged me. Logan quickly returned, a Coke and cookie for me in one hand and a Sprite in the other for himself. Setting them down in front of me, he looked into my eyes and beamed widely before speaking. "So, can I ask a favor of you?"

"What is it?" I picked my cookie up and began to munch on it. Honestly, I didn't listen to a word he was saying, just watching his beautiful face change positions repeatedly as he spoke. "You're adorable," I mumbled under my breath.

"Huh?"

"Oh, nothing." I took a couple sips of my drink and continued to watch his mouth move, but I wanted his lips to stop moving for speech and start coming for my own, his words basically just flying over my head.

"So will you help us?" he finally asked. I had no clue what he was asking me to do. I had paid no attention to a word he had said, but I nodded anyway, not wanting to disappoint him in any way. His smile broadened (if that was possible), and he walked around the bar counter before pulling me into a tight hug. "Thanks hun," he whispered in my ear before pulling away.

"What, just a hug? No kiss? That'd be the _perfect _way to thank me," I pouted, guilting him into doing what I wanted. He raised his hand to his chin, as if contemplating the idea and I simply rolled my eyes, putting a hand behind his head and pulling it so that my lips pressed to his and he deepened it immediately, and I melted into him. We spent what felt like forever moving our mouths against each other, but eventually we both felt the need for air pull us apart.

"Well, here's this," he said, pulling out a stack of paper and putting it down on the counter. I glanced at it, but didn't read the big boldface words on the front. He smiled and instructed me to come down to the pool the next day at around two.

"Will do," I gave him a salute like my dad had taught me. "So, what're you going to do now?" I inquired, watching as he tipped his head to the side in thought and taking the last couple sips of my drink that were remaining.

"Well, I don't have anything planned," he began, holding his arms down in front of his body. "Did you want to do something? I mean, we could watch some TV, or play a video game, or-"

I cut him off by diving into his open arms and pushing him down onto the couch before quickly straddling his lap. "I kinda just wanted to spend some time with my boyfriend," I smiled at him and he laughed, returning my happiness. My head leaned down and my lips touched lightly against his, and he pushed up with his own head to intensify the kiss. I swiped my tongue against his bottom lip, demanding my few moments of dominance over him. He obliged, opening his lips and allowing the flexible muscle to enter his mouth. I mapped out the inside of his mouth, finding all the sweet spots, but he eventually asserted his normal position in the relationship and took dominance again, fighting my tongue back into my mouth forcefully.

After about a minute he pulled his head back suddenly and gave me a goofy grin before speaking in a stupid sounding French accent. "You crazy Americans, who told you that we kiss like _that_?" I rolled my eyes again at the "French kissing" joke.

"Shut up and give me your lips back." He just laughed and allowed me to have my way once again.

We sat for about forty minutes, just on and off lip-locks with the occasional break for low whispering and giggling (most of the giggling was from me, he would just grin at my cute jokes and mannerisms). After that time, he lightly pushed me off his lap.

"Sorry baby, I just remembered something I have to finish in preparation for tomorrow," he announced. I huffed about it, but his look told me that he was completely serious about whatever it was that I was going to be helping with. I still didn't know what it was, or really care. He would probably just explain it tomorrow when I got there.

"I'll see you at dinner then?" I looked up with fake sad eyes, still trying to guilt him into not going.

"Yeah," came the reply. Well that wasn't what I wanted.

"Fine then, love you," I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest as he turned to the apartment door.

"Love you too." It sounded pretty much automatic, mechanical even. I wasn't sure if that was good or bad.

Nothing truly remarkable happened for the rest of the day. It was mostly TV by myself or video games with Kendall and James while Logan was out doing whatever it is that Logans do when they're working on a big project. I would give the occasional glance up to the stack of papers that were still sitting on the bar counter, the ones that I was expected to read; every time I did that I would end up falling behind Kendall in our race game and cursing loudly when I noticed. Luckily, I still won every game. Except the one where they tag teamed me, but that just wasn't fair.

Logan was back just before dinner; Mama Knight made fish sticks. After we finished he and I cleaned up the table while the other two guys washed the dishes. The six of us sat down and watched a movie after that; I don't remember what movie it was, I fell asleep in Logan's arms almost immediately from food coma and, according to Kendall, Logan didn't take long after I fell asleep to follow my example. The only thing I remember is just before falling asleep, I leaned up to Logan and whispered to him.

"Promise you'll never hurt me?"

"I promise."

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><p>We spent the night on the apartment's orange couch, which definitely was an awful idea. When I woke up I was horribly sore.<p>

Logan was nowhere to be found, but after a short minute of searching my immediate area I found a note on the coffee table.

_Remember- today at two at the pool. Reread the packet, it should be memorized. Sincerely, Logan._

Even in a note to his boyfriend he ends with "sincerely". He was so weird about things like that. I ignored the second statement in the note, glancing at the clock to check how much time I had to waste before going to help Logan.

'_11:04. I was asleep longer than I thought."_

I was still wearing the same clothing from the day before, so I grabbed a new outfit before heading into the bathroom to get freshened up for my day.

Later

'_1:50. No harm in being early.'_

I opened the apartment door, quickly glancing over to the neat stack of papers on the bar counter one more time before shrugging and exiting the room. Pushing the button for the first floor, I imagined what Logan could possibly have planned for me.

'_Probably something scientific… ooh, maybe it's some kind of love potion,'_ I giggled at that thought. _'Losing my free will and being hopelessly in love with someone, doing whatever they want at their slightest whim? That would be perfect… unless I fell in love with someone else, which would kind of suck._ _Or maybe he's going to do something awesome with that freezy stuff, like back in 8__th__ grade. What was it called? Liquid something or other.'_

Ideas of fun experiments continued to pop into my head, but those quickly ran out and were replaced by not-so-enjoyable ones. There was no more making ice cream the scientific way, or making goop like we did in summer camp a long time ago. Oh no, there were images of Logan wearing a white lab coat and cackling madly while I was strapped to some sort of operating table with a laser shooting at a spot between my legs and slowly moving upward. But as soon as I heard the elevator ding for the first floor, I wiped those away. Logan would never do anything cruel to me.

I strode out the open metal doors, turning to walk through the Palm Woods Lobby and happily turned out onto the pool deck. That's when everything in my head turned upside-down.

Logan was there of course, just like he told me he would be. But what he was doing was unbelievable. Standing with _Camille_ in his arms, _KISSING HER_. I probably looked like an idiot with my mouth hanging open, my eyes beginning to tear up at the sight of my boyfriend kissing that she-beast. It was a scene directly out of my nightmares. Steeling myself, I strode quickly over and grabbed his shoulder.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I shouted in his face. He gave me a look of surprise, but then his expression changed to embarrassment.

"Oh, hey… this is _not_ what it looks like," was his simple reply. My shock turned to anger with that answer.

"Oh really? _Then what is it?"_ I growled, rage flowing outward.

Camille then unwrapped his arms from around her and took a step toward me. She was wearing some really nerdy looking clothing, probably from some role that she was practicing for before she started _kissing my boyfriend._ Glaring at her I crossed my arms over my chest and shifted my weight to my other foot. "Let me handle this," she calmly assured Logan, and he leaned back a bit. She looked me in the eyes. "He's done with you. He never loved you, he'd never really love a brat like you. Give it up, because you two are _over._"

I stared at her, mouth agape. Did she really say what I thought she said?

"She's right," I heard Logan say from a bit behind her, and I watched him wrap his arms around her again. "It was only a matter of time before I dumped you and came to this beautiful angel. We're through, Char."

'_CHAR? He couldn't even be so kind as to say my name correctly?'_

I was outraged, suddenly seeing everything playing out exactly as I had dreamed. No electricity of course, but the pain of heartbreak was nearly as bad as being dropped out of a plane without a parachute and hitting the ground, if not worse than that. Absolutely crushed, I stood there, watching him embrace that devil-woman once again, about to kiss her once more. That's when something in me snapped.

"You promised."

Angrily, I separated them, forcing Camille backward into a pool chair. Logan gave me a confused look, but my raw fury blinded me to it. I picked him up, muscles straining (God damn, he was much heavier feeling than last time), ignoring his stupid cries of protest. Walking over to the pool's edge slowly, I waited for a second before tossing him into the water. This was nothing like our first date when I threw him in the same pool. That time I was just being playful and flirting with him; now I was straight up vicious. Borderline murderous even. I wanted to kill the son of a bitch for even thinking of lying to me in such a horrible way. _He promised not to hurt me, and he went back on that promise not even 24 hours afterwards._

People around the pool had turned and started to stare in our direction once they heard the loud splash of Logan hitting the surface of the water. Their staring didn't matter to me, as long as they knew why I was doing this. And I would make sure that _everyone_ knew why I was doing it. I saw him surface, spitting out water, and just as he was about to speak I decided it was my time to jump in after him. Seeing me lunging for him, the bastard moved out of the way and toward the edge, but I wouldn't allow that.

I grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him toward me, staring him in the eyes. The chocolate orbs were filled with fear, and I could tell that he was scared of the look on my face. My teeth were bared, showing off needlepoint canines, and my eyes were burning with my rage.

"You promised," I uttered again in a low voice, and he just shuddered, probably scared out of his mind. I reveled in that fear, switching my hold to the front of his shirt.

"Carlos, please listen," he tried to speak, but I cut him off by dunking him under the water.

"Shut it you bastard," I hissed at him, pulling him back up after a short time. Coughing loudly, he opened his mouth to gasp for breath and try to speak again. I made sure he didn't get a word out by pushing him under again. He began to flail in my grip, but I was able to resist and hold him down. I heard Camille yelling some shit about a script from the pool's edge, but I didn't listen. In my rage I was essentially trying to drown my former lover, holding his head down while he rapidly threw fists at me in desperation. My sadistic look hadn't faded from my face, and I was sure that people would think I had gone completely loco.

Suddenly, two more splashes rang out from other places in the pool, and I then felt two large hands grabbing my shoulders and saw James ripping away my vicegrip on Logan. The tall boy pulled Logan's limp form to the opposite edge of the pool as Kendall dragged me out of the water, instantly wrapping his arms underneath my armpits to keep me from getting away. The blonde carried me around the edge of the pool, with me kicking and screaming expletives and awful names the entire way. Some people had left the pool area, and others had gathered around where James and Logan now stood.

James had managed to revive Logan, who was shaking and staring at me with fearful eyes. I barked insults at him, and he flinched each time my arms flailed or I extended my neck to make the shouting easier. Everyone around could practically see the pure hatred boiling off of my skin. I could feel Kendall's hold on me weakening, and that made me struggle even harder, but James just pulled Logan back a bit further as he saw Kendall having a hard time holding me back.

I continued in that state for a good minute before I was snapped back out by something hitting the side of my face _really hard_. My head whipped to the side, and I felt my neck crack a bit. Turning my head slowly back forward, I saw Camille's left hand slowly lowering, her eyes burning with all of her method actress passion. She had backhanded me, and my face was aching from the heavy impact. I simply stared her in the eyes, my anger matching her determination.

"What do you want, you boyfriend stealer?" I spat at her, and she raised her hand once more. I flinched, and she frowned, lowering the hand again. And that's when the yelling began.

"What? What the hell is wrong with you Carlos? That wasn't in the script at all!" she shrilled, eyebrows turning downward. "You almost _killed_ him!"

"He deserved it for lying to," I began, but the stopped, logical thoughts starting to return. "Wait, what script?"

"The one that I put on the counter for you," Logan broke in, still avoiding looking in my eyes. Camille held a packet of papers up so that I could read it. Scrawled across in big, boldface was "A Victory for Smarts – A Script by Camille Roberts".

Upon reading over the small summary on the front, everything began to click for me. The script was apparently about a popular guy named Brent, in this case played by Logan, who was dating the head cheerleader in his high school named Charlotte. _'That was who I was supposedly playing… no wonder he called me Char…'_ Reading further, this Brent guy falls in love with a nerdy girl named Trish and dumps Charlotte with her help.

"Oh no," I choked out, completely devastated. I had no idea of any of this, I hadn't read anything that Logan had given me the day before. Noticing that Kendall had put me down, I quickly stole the script from her hands and flipped through it to the place where we had supposedly been reciting lines and acting at. I read the page slowly. All of her words and all of his words lined up, which wasn't surprising, but what did surprise me was that _my words_ lined up almost perfectly with what the script showed for Charlotte's part. My arms dropped to my sides, and Camille removed the script from my hand.

James had ushered Logan out of the area, probably back to the apartment. Kendall was still standing there, looking over my shoulder to try and get a glimpse of my face, which was beginning to sparkle with falling tears. Camille reached to place a hand on my shoulder, but Kendall waved her off, mouthing some words to her. She nodded and hurried away. I felt Kendall's strong arms wrap around me, and that's when I lost it. I began bawling, sobbing loudly and letting tears fall freely from my eyes, feeling Kendall's embrace tighten. But it wasn't any consolation. I had done something really wrong, and I didn't think there was any way to fix it.

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><p>AN: Okay, again, I am really, REALLY sorry that this took so long. Something like a week and a half? I'm so sorry for making you wait so long, I hope you all forgive me. I'll try and work overtime on the next one, but on this Sunday I move to University of Michigan for a two week summer program, which will have me working on school hours again. In other words, no late night typing, and very little during-the-day typing.

I have to say, I didn't have fun writing this chapter. It was completely frustrating to get the words out correctly. I really hope you guys had fun reading it, because it'd make dealing with this a lot easier. Please review, I most definitely need feedback on this 6-times-written chapter. Again, thanks for the people who story-alerted and faved this, and I'll see you all next time, which I hope won't take a week and a half.


	9. Dreams of Depression

A/N: Good news everyone! I'm still alive! I've just been at the University of Michigan for two weeks with my crappy laptop that has a vendetta against the Fanfiction login page, so I haven't been able to upload. Or fave. Or review. Or put things on alert. That's why you're getting a multi-chapter update and why I'm looking for a ton of fics that I read and wanted to do something for.

My mind gears have begun turning again, and I have **FOUR**- count 'em- **FOUR** new story ideas ready and raring to go. I just need your help to pick which one to bring pen to paper (or finger to keyboard) on first, because I'm indecisive! You can go by either title or you can go to my profile where I have a bit more detailed descriptions of each one. The titles are as follows- "Firecracker", "Chemistry", "Olympian", and "Adopted". Firecracker and Chemistry are both short and the other two are long, but I don't care which I start with, all four are eventually going up.

Meanwhile, I need to get this story rolling off Microsoft Word even faster, I want to get to chapter 13 (the last one/epilogue D:) quickly, I have so much already written down for it that I can't wait!

Okay, so, disclaimers, rating, etc. are still the same, but no more violence. There _are_ mentions of self-harm, though none of it actually happens to anyone. Let's-a-go!

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><p>Chapter IX- Dreams of Depression<p>

I fell to my knees beside the pool, tears dripping from my face into the water that almost drowned the boy I loved. Although, it wasn't the water's fault he had been on the verge of death, that blame belonged to me and only me. Kendall just stood behind me and watched sadly as my body was convulsed with each sob that pushed its way out of my mouth. I was making so much noise that my throat was becoming sore and I felt like I was going to throw up.

I had never cried so hard in my life before now; then again, I had never almost murdered my boyfriend before now, so it kind of balanced out a bit. Also, I had never been so utterly devastated by anything like this essential break-up in the past. Granted, none of those relationships held true love or passion. None of those girls had ever held my heart as tightly as the brunette had, and the look in his eye told me he was letting it go; he had held on so tightly that my heart completely collapsed when he let it go. I had been so caught up in jealous anger that I couldn't have been thinking straight, and it cost me my everything.

"Carlos…" I turned my head to see Kendall pinching the bridge of his nose, but I snapped my gaze back to the water of death before he could speak, causing tears to fly from my face and create little ripples on the surface.

"G-go a-way!" My heavy breathing in between sobs caused me to stutter and break words into pieces. "L-leave me a-alo-alone!" Hearing a sigh and footsteps getting closer, I felt a strong pair of hands grab onto my sides, force me up to my feet, and spin me around. There was a yellow tee shirt and a white plaid flannel shirt right in front of my eyes, and I stared into the yellowness, not having the courage or strength to bring my head up to look him in the eyes. With another sigh he placed a hand on my shoulder and another under my chin, tilting my head upward to look at him.

"Carlos, please, we have to go back to the apartment and get you cleaned up. No matter how bad you feel about seeing him right now, it would just make you feel worse if you stay at the scene of the crime and wallow in self-loathing." He was right. Kendall was always right. "So whaddaya say?" His hand slipped out from under my chin, coming to rest on my other shoulder, a smirk breaking onto his face. I nodded and wiped my eyes, my vision blurring a bit from tears still present as I felt his hand take mine, leading me through the lobby to the elevator.

* * *

><p>I dreaded walking into the apartment, but luckily Logan wasn't in sight at the time or I probably would've burst. Kendall and I slowly made our way up to Logan's and my shared room. Kendall peeked inside to check if Logan was there and pulled me in when the coast was clear. I looked around and noticed that a lot of stuff had been moved about. The room was in complete disarray, and there was a red duffel bag sitting on the floor next to Logan's bed, which had been stripped of sheets.<p>

"What's my duffel doing in here?" Kendall picked up the note sitting on top and read it softly aloud to himself.

_Kendall-_

_Logan has decided that he wanted to switch you rooms for a while. Sorry for not talking to you about it, but he insisted. I put all the stuff in your duffel that you would need- clothes for 2 weeks, bed sheets, etc. Your skates are still in the room if you need those though. I hope this works out._

_Still love you, James._

Hearing the last four words made my breathing hitch and my motions stop. I had been pushing in the randomly flung open drawers of Logan's dresser, or I guess Kendall's dresser for now, but hearing the word love made my heart sink again. Kendall apparently heard my sniffles, turning his head to look at me and lowering the paper.

"Carlos, you have to be strong, no more crying."

"I know…"

* * *

><p>I didn't see Logan for the rest of that day. Or the next one. The next time I saw him was at the recording studio on that Monday. The entire group atmosphere had changed. Logan seemed to be acting really coldly, placing James and Kendall in between us during dance and singing practices, avoiding contact at all costs. His voice sounded extremely different as well. It was usually beautiful, warm, and happy when he was singing, however now it was scratchy and depressed. He didn't talk to anyone the whole time. There was a deadpan stare on his face and his lips were turned downward in a constant unattractive frown.<p>

When we got back to the Palm Woods, he avoided me for the rest of the day, leaving the apartment as soon as we got back, and only coming back when either I was gone or it was time for dinner. At dinner neither he nor I talked at all; I would stare wistfully across the table at him, and he would just look down at his food.

Every so often I would look over to my right and see Kendall and James holding hands above the table, trying to quickly break their grasp when I would look, but every time I saw it still hurt. At least they were _trying_ to be discreet. It wasn't working, but they were trying. They were just trying to stay strong through this… whatever it was. Kendall was being my rock and James was being Logan's since we couldn't be there for each other.

For the entire rest of the week, everything was the same. I was slowly wasting away, yearning for contact with him, but he was never around and if I even saw him and tried to talk to him he would quickly turn and walk away. According to James they had been talking about forgiveness, but things weren't going too smoothly. I felt like I was going to eventually die without him… Hell, I was probably going to kill myself or something, actually having considered it once. I missed him so much it was causing me bodily harm, pains wracking my body every time he gave me the cold shoulder or looked the other way. Kendall and James were worried to see me so lovesick, but there wasn't much they could do other than console me, wipe off the tears that would roll down my face every night, and tell me that everything would end up working out fine.

"Just wait and see," Kendall whispered to me one night, his voice laden with hope. "He'll come around soon enough. I promise." The words put me a little more at ease, and allowed me to actually sleep for the night, hopeful dreams passing through my subconscious.

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><p>"<strong>Logan, please, hear me out."<strong>

"**I'm listening… for now."**

**I stared into his eyes, which were pointed at my own. "How can I show you how sorry I really am? You won't let me try."**

"**I know how sorry you are."**

"**Well apologies aren't working, so-"**

"**Of course a simple apology won't work." He sighed, placing a hand on his forehead and moving his head from side to side, clearly frustrated. "What you don't seem to realize is that this was our first real fight. Sure we've bickered before, but we actually had a fight, and it was a big one. It'll take a lot to make it up to me."**

"**I'll do anything." I took his hand in mine, slowly rubbing my thumb along the tops of his knuckles. "I need you. I want you back in my life. I really love you."**

**His stare was blank. "Prove it then."**

**I worked his words over in my head. How do I truly prove it? The look in his eyes told me that he wanted to have me back as well, but I had to make sure that what I did next really counted. That's when I decided. I slowly leaned forward, stopping when my breath was ghosting over his lips. "This is the only good way to get the point across."**

"…**Go ahead."**

**My lips softly touched against his own. And then I waited. No immediate rejection. That's a good sign, right? His eyes fluttered shut, and pink broke out on his pale cheeks.**

**I didn't move my lips at all until I felt his agreeing to do so, at which point I slowly began to slide them with his. I didn't do anything to stress it; this wasn't a make out session, this was an apology. I was being as submissive and loving as possible. I wanted him back, and I was doing everything to show that. I was making sure that it was the softest, most gentle kiss we had ever shared. **

**All of my feelings and apologies went into making that kiss count for something, and upon separating I looked at him expectantly. He blushed lightly again, and I waited for him to speak. It was little more than a whisper when it came out. A lopsided half-smile appeared, and his eyes shone happily.**

"…**I love you too."**

* * *

><p>The next week I began to see more of him. He actually talked during practices, although not to me. He was actually occasionally around the apartment, although not in the same area as I was. If I was in my room he would be out in the living area, and if I was there he'd be in his room. The pain didn't completely go away, but at least I got to occasionally see him, which lifted something away. He would even smile sometimes, and I was happy to see his pearly whites once again.<p>

The first time he said something to me that week was at the studio. We were in the middle of dance practice, going through the routine for "Oh Yeah". Before the rehearsal James was doing something random with some sort of hair care something or other, and he apparently spilled some on the floor. I was striding into my normal position for the chorus when Logan suddenly yelled at me to watch out. Of course, being buried in my own little world, I got confused and slipped, landing on my ass in front of everyone. James and Kendall laughed, Gustavo and Mr. X seemed annoyed, and Logan just groaned loudly at my stupidity, shaking his head before saying something about going to get some water. I just frowned and stood back up, glaring at the two buffoons that were laughing at my misfortune.

Not many other words were exchanged between the two of us for the next week either; just the customary pleases and thanks yous, occasional hellos, and very sparse conversations about random things that would quickly die due to the awkwardness that was still in the air between us. Neither of us wanted to talk about what had happened, but I still needed to make things right. I wanted Logan fully back in my life; I wanted to experience the same passion we had before. I wanted to be able to love him and have him love me back again; I wanted his warm body beside mine as we fell asleep together.

I also wanted Kendall _out_ of my room. I don't know how James deals with his snoring.

* * *

><p>James stopped me on the way to my bedroom one night, gesturing for me to stay for a couple more minutes while the others went to bed. We had just had a movie marathon, and it was Kendall's pick. Gruesome horror isn't really my cup of tea, so I was happy to wait to go to bed so that I would have time to shoo away any nightmares that followed me.<p>

"So what's up?" I quipped, smiling at him while pushing the zombies out of my head.

"Well, I think it's about time that you and Logan made up."

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><p>AN: So yeah, this chapter. I say bad. And short. And choppy. Lucky for you all this is a multi-chapter update because this is an awful place to stop; it's just that the last line is the lead-in to the next chapter. I'm not good at sad, since I don't really know the feeling. I'm blessed in that way, to never really feel sad or be the pessimist.

Also, since I forgot to do this at the beginning- thanks for the reviews from _Bone Chills, BadLuckGrl13, Lewkis, irishoreo, sHutUp522, couellette, huyandhieu, _and _Sum1cooler_, and thanks for all the alerts and faves from everyone who gave one!

Meanwhile I've just become an idea factory. I'm cranking out ideas for future chapters of this story and I've come up with three _more_ story ideas just in the course of writing this that I'm going to write down on my phone list and eventually ask you all about. Anyways, thanks for reading, please review, and have a great morning/day/evening (if you're going to stop and not read next chapter that is)!


	10. Dreams of Regret

A/N: Disclaimers first- I own nothing. Especially not the boys or anything Nintendo-related.

Haha, so I lied. I'm not giving you the choice of 'Olympian'. But that's because I decided that it's already going up! I haven't held back in that story as much as this one, and I'm still hoping you accept this multi-chapter/multi-fic update as an apology for me being gone so long. And speaking of apology…

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><p>Chapter X- Dreams of Regret<p>

I stared into James' eyes, unsurprised by what he had just said. But I didn't want to follow his directions; I knew it was time, I knew that I really wanted Logan back. But what I didn't know was what to say, or do to get him to reconcile with me.

"Look, I know that there's still a pretty heavy air between the two of you…"

"You have no idea."

"…but the longer you wait the more awkward it's going to be."

"I know that," I unintentionally snapped at him, causing him to flinch. Upon seeing how harsh I was being, I softened a bit. He was only trying to help. "Sorry. I just… I don't know what I'm supposed to do to get him back."

James just stroked his chin in thought, fingers running across the almost invisible stubble. His eyes brightened suddenly; he had an idea, a rare occurrence for the pretty boy. Grabbing my hand, he led me over to the couch, sitting me down on the orange piece of furniture and plopping down next to me.

"So there are three things that I've learned about relationships over the years…"

Oh great, one of those James talks.

"James, this is Logan that we're talking about here, not just some random girl," I interrupted him, voice flat and eyes looking past his shoulder.

"Oh, right. Um… he likes science, you could try that."

"I'm no good at sciencey stuff, you should know that by now," I sighed at him, unimpressed by his current attempts to help me brainstorm.

"Right," he muttered, pausing to think for another minute. So far he was being completely unhelpful. I sat for a little bit watching his eyes flick back and forth as a thought storm swirled in his head before deciding to stand up.

"I'm going to bed. If you get any non-ridiculous ideas then tell me tomorrow."

"Okay," he conceded defeat, looking up at me one last time before I turned to walk to my bedroom. About halfway to the room, I heard footsteps rushing up behind me. A hand on my shoulder suddenly spun me around, causing me to lose my footing and tumble to the floor. "I had an idea!" James shouted at me, not seeming to notice my position sprawled out on the floor.

Kendall's head poked out of the bedroom, about to yell at James for being so loud, but then he saw me on the ground and sleepily walked out. He gave the both of us a questioning look before speaking again.

"So what's your idea?" he whispered, trying not to wake the fourth member of our group since we were obviously talking about him. The blonde's right eyebrow raised, intrigued. James blushed a bit at the look, but the opened his mouth to describe his idea.

"Well, you and Logan are like the really sappy types when it comes to romance." Kendall chuckled and I turned bright red at the statement. "Well you are! And that means that you just need to think of something really cutesy-wutesy and romantic to make it up to him. Probably not a date or anything, that may be too much, but seriously, think about it that way."

Kendall was essentially keeled over laughing, trying to keep himself from being too loud, and I was sitting on the ground with a flushed face, attempting to work the pretty boy's words over in my head while ignoring the bouts of laughter coming from my current roommate. For once he had a good idea. His ideas were usually awful, but this one was just fine. I remembered my dream from a couple weeks earlier, sending James a confident glance.

"I think I have a plan."

* * *

><p>All I had to do was find him at a convenient time and an inconvenient place. Somewhere where he couldn't just get away by turning and walking away. I sat up in the loft of the swirly slide, staring down at the main area of the apartment. Logan's <em>Animal Crossing<em> town was on screen, and he was splayed out ungracefully across the couch.

I always wondered how anyone could like that game. It was so uneventful. There was no action, no explosions, no giant racecars of any kind. The game was just too calm and slow-paced… it was so… Logan. I slapped myself internally for not realizing how much the game resembled him. My thought train stopped when I heard him laugh quietly at some sort of dialogue in the game. I cherished the sound, hoping to hear it again soon.

'_There's no time like the present,'_ my mind muttered to me, and I groaned inwardly in agreement. Getting down to the floor, I silently slid down, trying to keep my shoes from squeaking against the plastic on the way. He hadn't noticed my approach, eyes still glued to the screen as I saw his little person talking to some red otter on a bridge. I heard another loud bout of laughter and read the speech that the animal had given him.

"Aliens? You can't fake that stuff maaan." It really wasn't all that funny, but apparently he thought it was hilarious. I sighed and tiptoed over behind the couch, quickly jumping over and landing in a seat closer to the kitchen than his was, preventing him from getting away.

"C-Carlos?" he made to stand up but I put a hand on his knee.

"Please stay, I need to talk to you," I pleaded. He tried to stand up again, but I held my hand down. Huffing, he crossed his arms over his chest, removing the wrist strap of his game controller from his arm and placing the device on the coffee table. His gaze bored into me, and we sat in awkward quiet until he suddenly spoke.

"…Go already."

The annoying music of the video game was playing through my ears, so I reached to grab the remote control and put it on mute.

"Don't just mute it, turn it off. You're wasting energy."

"Yeah, yeah, you're wasting energy by leaving the game on anyways." I quickly pushed down on the power button, the television flicking off.

"…Touché," he smirked, causing me to smile. "Now, you were going to say?"

I stared him in the eyes and took a deep breath, preparing myself before giving my speech. I'm pretty good at begging. For things like food and other material possessions that is. But this was something altogether different. I haven't ever in my life had to beg someone to love me again.

"Logan, please, hear me out," I breathed. He sat silently, as if searching for a response. I would probably shatter if he said that he wouldn't listen.

"I'm listening… for now."

I stared up into his eyes, which were pointed at my own. "How can I show you how sorry I really am? You won't let me try."

"I know how sorry you are."

"Well apologies aren't working, so I was going to-"

"Of course a simple apology won't work." He sighed, placing a hand on his forehead and moving his head from side to side, clearly frustrated. He was reluctant to let me off easy at this point. "What you don't seem to realize is that this was our first real fight. Sure we've bickered before, but we actually had a fight, and it was a big one. It'll take a lot to make it up to me."

"I actually have a plan for once. Please just trust me." I took his hand in mine, slowly rubbing my thumb along the tops of his knuckles. "I need you. I want you back in my life. I really love you."

His stare was blank, but intrigued at the same time. "Prove it then." He now seemed very interested in what I was going to say. I was honestly confused by his demeanor shift. He leaned in closer in order to hear me better.

I readied myself, bringing the dream to the forefront of my mind. Every detail had to match or he probably wouldn't forgive me. I slowly leaned forward, stopping when my breath was ghosting over his lips. "This is the only good way to get the point across."

"…Go ahead." He sounded extremely excited, and he was anticipating what was coming next. I tried to ignore his tone and focus on the task at hand.

My lips softly touched against his own. And then I waited. No immediate rejection, just like in the dream. His eyes fluttered shut, and pink broke out on his pale cheeks.

Following the dream's directions, I didn't move my lips at all until I felt his agreeing to do so, at which point I slowly began to slide them with his. I knew that I wasn't supposed to do anything at all to intensify it, but when I suddenly felt his tongue swipe across my bottom lip and his right hand wrap around to hold the back of my head, I didn't know what to do. Honestly, I was surprised that it was he who couldn't control himself and not me. But I had to stay staunch. I wouldn't allow myself to screw this up by coming on too strong.

'_Don't give in,'_ my conscience yelled out sternly, not wanting to deviate from my dream. Sadly, I couldn't stop my body's reaction, grinding my hips against his and moaning into the kiss. The slippery appendage invaded my mouth, quickly finding all of my sweet spots and making me moan again. His tongue fought with my own, taking dominance over me like he used to, his left hand rubbing circles on my back. My mind was screaming at me not to let this go to far, but my body objected and I squirmed in delight when his hand reached the small of my back.

One loud word rang out in my head, snapping me back to reality.

'_STOP!'_

I suddenly pulled my head back, leaving Logan with a confused look on his face, my conscience screaming at me for not listening the first time. _"You fucking _idiot._ You just messed everything up, this was such a mistake!'_

"Logan, I'm so sorry," I stuttered, bending my neck back further, trying to remove myself from his grasp, but he held on tight.

"Sorry for what?"

"I was trying to hold back so that I could truly show how much I wanted you without seeming like I was coming on too strong, but I didn't and now you'll hate me and… fuck I'm so stupid…" I was going to launch into a rant until he leaned his head forward and pulled my head back down to kiss my lips. He was smiling into the kiss, and when we separated again his smirk contrasted heavily to my frown. He chuckled at the look on my face, causing me to blush.

"It isn't funny! I thought you wanted me to prove that I still want you back!" The grin on his face faded, and he gave me a stony look.

"Carlos, you never had to prove that to me. I've known that."

"But then why have you been-"

"Look, after that… unmentionable thing… we both needed our time alone. At first I thought you needed to learn a lesson, and I made sure to keep myself away. But I quickly realized that I need you just as much as you need me, and so that's when I decided that whatever you did to apologize, I would take it. I didn't think it would take you so long, but you came up with something pretty good." He chuckled again, bringing his right hand up to carress the side of my face. I nuzzled against into like a cat, savoring the touch before feeling him pull me right back down into another kiss. This time both of us were smiling into it.

* * *

><p>"So I'm assuming that he said yes?" Kendall joked as I handed him his repacked duffel bag. He just got a quick 'mhm' as a reply as he watched me run down the hall and grab some of Logan's miscellaneous items from James' room. I quickly shuffled back and forth between the two bedrooms, happily humming to help pass the time of moving all the random little things that Logan had taken with him when he "moved out".<p>

"So you're all cool now? No more crazy, no more crying, no more freak outs?"

"None of those."

"Are you actually going to read things if he puts them down in front of you?" the blonde grinned widely at me and I scowled back. "What, I just don't want this happening again."

"Oh ha-ha, you're so hilarious," I replied sarcastically. "Shouldn't you go hang out with James or something?" He simply sighed back and shook his head as I walked past back into the mentioned boy's room.

"He went somewhere, but I might as well go find him so that I don't have to deal with you being all snappy now and then later have to deal with both you _and_ Logan being all sappy."

"You do that," was the reply I yelled out as I picked up the last box of Logan's stuff from James' room. I heard Kendall huff in return and then heard the front door open and close. The box was quickly transported down the hall, and upon putting it down, I walked over to wrap my arms around Logan, his back turned to me as he was unpacking. I surprised him, but he leaned back into my hold, so I took the initiative to whisper into his ear.

"I love you so much."

A lopsided half-smile appeared, and his eyes shone happily. His head turned, and his lips collided with my own for a second before he pulled away again to speak.

"I love you too."

* * *

><p>AN: I basically just wanted to get past the sad and get on to the happy ending that you guys will probably think is really cutesy and all. But I like cutesy and I don't like unhappy, so yeah. You're also getting your dose of M-rating soon since I haven't done that. Hopefully this and 'Olympian' will tide you all over until then.

One last time, I have to say I'm really sorry for not posting these earlier. Stupid computer and stupid U of M. Oh well. I love you all for reading all this thought-barf, please review, and I'll see you all later this week sometime.


	11. Dreams of Happiness

A/N: How long has it been for this story, like 11 or 12 days? And oh dang, I was looking back at chapter 10 and noticed that the chapter title and the written title are different… whoopsy. Gotta fix that eventually. But not now :P

Ugh, long author's note. Thank you to _huyandhieu, Sum1cooler, Mazie Lyne, Dragon99754, Lewkis, Kyjoun, Hikari Heartache, Koga Sukarama, _and _Monocle51_ for reviews, favorites, and alerts. They mean a whole lot, seriously, I don't think I'd keep writing this if I didn't know that people were counting on me to do so.

Anyways, it's time that I got around to finishing what I started, so this story is drawing to a close. There's this chapter, next chapter, and then the final one, which is sort of an epilogue. A very long epilogue. This was my first story, and I'm basically required to take care of it (it's almost like a baby except for the fact that it doesn't eat, cry, or vomit all over the place). So yeah. Let's get it going.

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><p>Chapter XI - Dreams of Happiness<p>

Every box was moved. Every knick-knack was unpacked. Every article of clothing was put away in its respective drawer. And every shattered fragment of our relationship had been taped back into place. Logan and I just laid on his bed, him with his arms wrapped around my waist and me with my head leaning on his shoulder. I had originally suggested that we go watch a movie after the "moving" was finished, but it never happened. I mean, I would have loved to spend the entire rest of the day just sitting on the bright orange sofa watching movies, with my head nuzzled up against his chest and his own head resting on top of mine. Then again, we were already doing that, just laying down instead of sitting up and without a television in front of us.

We just stayed silent, laying on the bed and enjoying each other's company, kissing occasionally, until we heard the front door open and the loud voices of James and Kendall drifted through the apartment. I stood up and moved over to the door, shutting it completely to keep some privacy. Apparently I was just in time, because as soon as I turned around I heard two pairs of loud footsteps rushing down the hall toward the other bedroom, their door squeaking as it opened and quickly slammed shut. Across the room, Logan was laying on the bed, staring into my eyes with a contented look etched across his features.

"Come back to bed," he beckoned me back over, and I happily strode across the room, stopping next to the bed. He patted the spot next to him, and I simply shrugged at him. He gave me a look, and I chuckled, climbing to lie on top of him instead of next to him. The action confused him for a second, but he just laughed when I snaked my hands underneath him, using him as a full body pillow. I turned my head up to look at him, resting my chin against the very top of his chest and staring him in the eyes.

"You're warm."

"Thank you?"

"You're very welcome. Now, quiet, I think it's bedtime." He smirked at my statement.

"It's only eight." I slid a little bit upward, placing my lips softly against his own to silence him. I smiled when we separated.

"We've had a pretty long day, and I'm tired from moving boxes for the past half hour. It's sleepy time. Goodnight." He sighed in return, knowing that he wouldn't convince me otherwise.

"Oh fine. Goodnight Carlitos."

"Goodnight Logie. Love you." I rubbed my head against his chest, and he chuckled, turning his body so that I slid down into the spot next to him on the bed. His arms wrapped around my waist once again, and he placed a sweet little kiss on my forehead.

"Love you too."

* * *

><p>The next morning I woke up early for once in my life. I struggled to extract myself from my once-again-boyfriend's death grip, quickly changing my clothing and rushing out into the kitchen. I had decided two nights earlier to try to make him breakfast as an attempt to finalize my apology, being the last phase of my original plan. Now it wasn't really required since he accepted me back already, but I still wanted to try it.<p>

First was fruit salad, which was pretty simple, just involving cutting up a bunch of peaches and strawberries and putting them in a bowl with other berries. Hand-squeezed orange juice was a little harder seeing as my hand cramped up halfway through the second orange, making it hurt like a bitch every time I moved a finger. Last but not least was the heart shaped pancakes. Or at least, they _would _have been heart shaped had they not exploded into flames. Mama Knight thankfully came to the rescue, running into the kitchen when she heard me screaming about the fire since the broom I had been trying to put it out with had caught fire as well.

Somehow, those same screams of fire hadn't woken up any of the other apartment residents, allowing me and Mama Knight to quickly whip up a batch of regular old boring circle-shaped pancakes in secret. But at least they had chocolate chips, which made them even better than the others. She handed me a knife as soon as she put the first pair on a plate, telling me to cut them into whatever shape I wanted now that they were cooked. She also told me that I wasn't allowed to make pancakes alone ever again, giving me a stern look when I groaned about it.

"I only _almost_ burned the apartment down, I didn't actually burn it down," I said to her with a pleading tone, using the knife to cut Logan's pancakes into the shape of a heart, secretly eating the small extra cut-out parts of each of them. I knew that she wouldn't approve of me sneaking food, but I was freakishly hungry since I hadn't gotten any dinner the night before (I had been to busy eating my once-again-boyfriend's face).

"You also _almost_ set off the fire alarms, which would've made every apartment have to evacuate the building and would make _everyone_ get pissed at us. Consider yourself lucky."

I scoffed. "Oh, technicalities." She gave me the Knight family trademarked grin, rolling her eyes and turning back to the pan that was still cooking on the stove. I looked back down at my handiwork, seeing two very neat and perfect looking hearts of pancake and chocolate staring back at me. Literally; one of them had a brown happy face made of chocolate chips on it. I didn't know if it was intentional or not, but it certainly was cute. I poked Mama Knight, pointing down at it, and she shrugged, smirking once again. I grabbed the powdered sugar and shook it over the top, generously covering each doughy heart.

Eventually, everyone was awake and at the table, the mother figure and I quickly distributing plates to everyone. Except Logan. He looked around at the others, quite confused and a little jealous. An adorable pout sprouted on his face, his bottom lip pushing out.

"Where are my pancakes? This doesn't seem all that fair," the brunet whined in a little kid voice, and everyone laughed.

"You may want to look behind you," Kendall said, pointing to me. He glanced over his shoulder, noticing me standing behind him. I was carrying his plate, a bowl of the fruit salad, and the glass of orange juice, looping my arms around his neck to place the dishes in front of him. Looking down at it, he smiled, placing a hand on top of my own and tipping his head backwards to look me in the eyes, head touching against my stomach.

"Do you like them?" I asked, already knowing the answer.

"They're beautiful," he returned happily, pulling my head down to his own. It was a weird position, but I accepted it. A "Spiderman Kiss" I think it was called. And it was actually pretty good, feeling my upper lip move against his lower one and vice-versa.

"You know, we would like to eventually start eating," I heard lifting my head up and staring at Katie with an annoyed look. She raised an eyebrow, staring me right back down. I backed off, and everyone laughed; tough, fearless Carlos afraid of a girl six years my younger, what a sight. I sat down, picking up my knife and fork and looking up at Mama Knight expectantly. All of us were. She looked back at everyone sternly, not letting her gaze drop, but then caved.

"Okay, we can eat now," she conceded, and all five of us cheered, digging into our food.

* * *

><p><strong>Later that day<strong>

Family movie night- my pick. I immediately told Kendall and Katie no to watching horror and told James no to a romantic comedy. Logan and Mama Knight didn't really care what we watched as long as it was picked soon, and I had the perfect idea.

"_Up?"_ Kendall stared at the DVD box I had pulled off the shelf, sighing. He had never liked that movie, and everyone else in our little family thought he was insane.

"Dude, this movie is funny and absolutely adorable, what's wrong with you?" James asked, giving Kendall the same weird look and talk that he always did when we watched it. Kendall rolled his eyes.

"There's no blood or gore at all, it isn't exciting," he returned simply, a blank look covering his face. James put a hand to his forehead, shaking his head back a forth a couple times with a sigh, then just laid back against the blond to keep him from standing up. I popped in the disc and ran to my spot next to Logan, flopping on top of him, my head landing on his lap. He chuckled, watching me grab the remote and skip past the previews to the main menu. A stray thought ran through my mind, and I smirked.

"I think that if the four of us were the characters from up, then I would be the dog, Logan would be the crazy bird, James would be the little kid, and Kendall would be the old man." Everyone laughed at my thought.

"Why do you say that?" Katie asked between giggles, already having figured out the answer.

"Well, I'm always clinging to Logan like the dog clings to that bird. Logan is always running around doing weird things-"

"I am not always doing weird things!" Logan sounded shocked, but he was just messing around. I just kept talking

"Hey, you're ruining my analogy here, just go with it. James like the little kid because he's always following Kendall around it seems like." James smiled and rubbed his head against Kendall's shoulder. The blond smiled down at him, then turned back to me.

"So why am I the old man?" he asked me, and I laughed in response. All of us except Kendall knew the answer, but I was the one that started the thought, so I had to finish it.

"Because you're a grump to people you don't know but you're really warm once you learn all of their good and bad points. And you both have huge eyebrows, even though his are grey." One of those bushy blonde eyebrows raised, giving me a probing look.

"Is that really what you think of me?"

"That's what everyone thinks of you, hun," Mama Knight replied for me. The blond looked around, seeing each person nod. He shrugged in concession, turning back to the screen.

"Are we gonna watch this movie or not, the menu music is _seriously _annoying me."

"Whatever you say Kenny." I pushed the play button, watching the screen darken then launch into one of my favorite movies. It's almost too bad that I was completely and totally knocked out only ten minutes in, after receiving a loving kiss on the lips from the boy whose lap my head still rested upon.

* * *

><p>AN: Woohoo for sappy, lovey-dovey, fluffy chapter. I know that you people like all of that (as do I, adorable things make me happy, why do you think I love fuzzy puppies and kittens? And Carlos ;D).

Anyways, I decided a while ago that you all get your dose of M-rating next chapter, and that's still making me nervous. It's my first attempt to describe sex, so I'm just hoping it goes over well. I've read some pretty good descriptions from other people, so I hope to be able to live up to expectations.

In the end, it goes how it goes. Please review, it makes me happy when you do. Have a good night, and I'll see you next chapter!


	12. Dreams of Love

A/N: So… Merry Christmas! I promised myself that this would be finally finished and uploaded by today. If I didn't keep this promise to myself, I would probably explode since I've been trying at this this for so long. I would suggest that you reread some part of this story if you don't remember what it's about.

Now for a long list of people who were old readers of this and the newcomers that enjoyed _Olympian _and _Adopted_ and all those one-shots that came over here. Please note that these are in chronological order beginning with most recent, not from most to least important; I love all my readers (especially because you put up with my idiocy involving this story for freakin' months!). Thank you to _Dorney77, BigTimeLovers14, __waitingFORthePERFECTsong9092, NeverStopReading, MiaCnnr, FoxxyFoxxy, CourtneyC1, itsayejay, Ericsoawesome, Tigers257, BTRMegaFan, GLJ4, Avid-reade, The Distorsion, Edward Changed Me, Crown0017, AlexaSummer, ExtReme-Rain17, huyandhieu, Lewkis, Sum1cooler, _and _domijavonillo _for your reviews, alerts, and faves over a very extended period of time. I love all of you for continuing to motivate me to attempt to write this story further even with all of the blocking I experienced.

Long note is long. Moving on! This is the end. Or at least, almost the end

* * *

><p>Chapter XI - Dreams of Love<p>

A month passed. The two of us had fallen asleep on the couch once again; it's still an awful idea, I woke up sore as hell. However, no matter if we slept on the couch or in the bed, I woke up each morning wrapped in my boyfriend's arms. It wasn't all just a dream; Logan was back in my life, and we were completely happy together once more.

I struggled to turn over in his grasp, glancing at the digital clock on the coffee table. 10:13. I turned back again, placing my face into the crook of his neck and breathing deeply as I closed my eyes again, his scent soothing. _'Maybe just five more minutes…' _ However, my brain suddenly urged me to look back at the clock again for some reason. Maybe it was one of those subconscious things Logan always talks about.

The date that the clock showed surprised me. Four months earlier on that day Logan kissed me for the first time. Our four-month anniversary (although I was counting the days of separation, so it was more like three and a half months of actual togetherness… oh well). I almost couldn't believe that it had been that long, but I knew that I had to do something super special, and I was quick to think of exactly what. I smiled widely and nuzzled my head into his chest again, giggling like a little kid when I noticed that he was waking up. His deep brown eyes opened slowly, and he looked down into my own with a grin.

"Good morning handsome." I blushed at the complement, sliding up to place my forehead against his.

"If I'm handsome, that must makes you too good for words," I returned, wrapping one arm underneath him and placing my other hand behind his neck.

"Oh, I'm just normal, you're the wonderful one." I chuckled under my breath.

"Hey, don't get yourself down. Now stop talking and kiss me." Logan just laughed quietly to himself, tipping his head to take my lips with his own. I sighed happily into the kiss, lips moving with his for a short while until I felt his tongue ask for entry. I was going to grant it, but heard footsteps coming down the hall, so I separated from him and sat up a bit. Kendall walked in moments later, James following directly behind him, both of them in swimsuits. The two looked over to us, each one grabbing their towel that was sitting on the kitchen counter.

"Hey look, the two sleeping beauties are finally awake," James laughed, nudging Kendall's shoulder. The blond smiled, watching Logan sit up next to me.

"You two missed breakfast, so you've gotta make something yourselves. Also, Gustavo wants us in the studio at 2 so make sure you're ready to go when we get back from the pool." I was more struck by the missing breakfast than by Gustavo making us work on a weekend, just staring at Kendall in disbelief. He shook his head, an exasperated smile on his face. "Carlos, you aren't going to die from having breakfast a couple hours late."

"You don't know that."

"Whatever. We'll see you two in about three hours. Come on James, time for some sun."

"Wait," Logan said, causing the two to turn back to face him. "Where are Mrs. Knight and Katie?"

"Out somewhere. Can we go now?"

"…fine."

Once the door closed behind the two, I turned back to Logan, seeing him attempt to get up. I gave him a look of confusion, and he stared back into my eyes with a grin on his face. His dimples were just as adorable as always. "I'll make breakfast while you go get dressed in something different, okay?" I nodded happily, jumping up and grabbing his hand to pull him toward the kitchen. Once all the ingredients were out, I kissed him lightly on the cheek and walked toward our bedroom.

It had been quite a few weeks since I had worn that pink shirt. That was probably because it always made me think of Logan's original reaction to it and in the last few weeks there was no way I could feel good thinking about Logan and how much I missed him. I smiled happily as I remembered back to that day. It was the one where Logan… well, let's just say he let his emotions get out of hand while people were present. I just wondered what his reaction would be this time.

I changed my boxers and then slipped into the shirt and a pair of dark jeans, quietly walking out of the room and toward the kitchen. My arms wrapped underneath his from behind, and I felt a chuckle vibrate through his body. He turned around, a look of surprise taking over him features. I smirked.

"Happy anniversary Logie." He licked his lips, eyes growing wide. His pupils dilated heavily, and he swallowed before leaning in and whispering in my ear.

"You, me, bedroom, now," was the first thing he said. The harshness of his voice sent a tingle up my spine, but I managed to keep my smirk up.

"What about breakfast?" I asked, a sarcastic quirk in my voice. He smirked and groped at the front of my jeans, making me moan loudly. The brunet reached backward and turned off the stove.

"I'm pretty sure that if you wanted breakfast then you wouldn't have worn that. Now, on to more pressing matters." A hand wrapped around my neck, pulling my face forward to give me a deep kiss. The brunet moved his hips, rubbing his quite obvious erection against my steadily growing one. I moaned again, lips separating to allow his tongue inside. We had a short battle for dominance, his tongue winning quickly and tangling with mine even afterwards. His hands roamed down to the hem of my shirt, pulling it slowly upward with small touches ghosting over my sides. I broke away, leaving him with a confused expression until he felt me start to tug him to the bedroom.

Within a minute I was laying face up on the bed with Logan on his hands and knees above me, our mouths connected and moving quickly against each other's. Somehow our shirts had managed to disappear in the short time it took to reach the bed, my hands roaming across his back and pulling him closer down to me. One of his hands lifted from the bed, coming up to caress the side of my face. His lips detached from mine, only to latch onto the side of my neck, sending waves of pleasure jolting through my body. I began to fiddle with the button of his jeans, moaning with satisfaction when I felt him bite down on my neck and the button go through the hole.

Once the button was open, some instinct triggered inside of me. The next second, I found myself on top of him, Logan's eyes wide from both confusion and lust. One of my hands held me up as the other one reached down under the waistband of his jeans to grab his erection through his boxers. My head shot down to crash my lips to his, forcing my tongue through and asserting my new dominant mindset. My mouth only lingered against his for a couple of seconds, tongue trailing along his face to his right ear. My lips wrapped around his earlobe, giving it a harsh suck and little nibbles.

"Oh my god," I heard him moan loudly to the room, his nails digging into my back. My hand began to move up and down him shaft, rubbing him through his boxers, eliciting another moan from the boy beneath me. "Where has this Carlos been hiding?" he asked, eyes shutting tight as I released his earlobe. I brought my lips back down to his, initiating a quick kiss before replying.

"I guess there just hasn't been a reason for this Carlos yet." I started to make my way down his body, leaving small kisses in my wake and never letting up on roughly stroking him through the now damp cloth of his underwear. I stopped at one of his nipples, taking the hardened nub into my mouth and swirling my tongue around it before continuing downward, getting a pleasured groan in response to the stimulation I was providing. I delivered one kiss to each of his abs, then pulled my hand away from his boxers, pulling his jeans and boxers off with one swift motion.

My hand returned to his cock, which was now open to the heated air of the room and standing proudly before me. I licked my lips once, moving my hand up and down a couple times before replacing it with my mouth.

"_Carlos~."_ I went down slowly, attempting to take as much of him into my mouth as possible. I pulled back up at the point where I couldn't go any further, my gag reflex stopping me from getting all the way to the base. Once I was at the tip again, I repeated the action, beginning to bob my head up and down. I looked upward at one point to see the brunet's head tilted back, mouth wide open, and brown eyes closed tightly, his knuckles turning white as they fisted the sheets beneath him. He moaned my name again, and I bobbed up and down a few more times, then pulling my head up and off his length. I ran my hand up and down it once more, dipping my thumb into the slit to pick up some of the pre-cum that was collecting there and spreading it down his dick.

By this point, my own member was aching for freedom. With one final stroke, I stood up and removed the remainder of my own clothing and crawled up the bed on top of him. I connected our lips together once more, pushing my tongue into his mouth and easily winning the quick clash for dominance. I have no idea where this dominant personality came from, but apparently Logan likes it by the way the he was bucking his hips up to meet my own. My fingers roamed up and down his body, two of them coming to rest at his lips when I broke the kiss.

"Suck," I commanded, his mouth opening happily to take the two digits. When they were properly coated, I brought them down to his ass, taking his lips back with mine in the process. I circled his hole with my fingers once before slowly pushing one in, reveling at the feeling of him biting down on my lower lip as the finger slipped inside of him. I felt my finger make it all the way in, adding another digit and then a third before moving them around a little. His whimpers and moans only served to make me more aroused, my primal instincts urging me to just go and fuck the living daylights out of him. But I resisted as much as I could.

"Carlos," he gave a breathy moan. "Just go, I'm ready"

I removed my fingers, positioning myself down between his legs and leaning over his body. I held my cock and attempted to guide it to his waiting hole, feeling my tip press against his entrance.

"_Go."_

I started pressing in, feeling his nails dig harshly into my back and continuing to press on. It seemed like a blissful eternity before I managed to feel my hips touch his bottom, but when it did I leaned down to take his lips with mine once more before starting to pull out. He moaned into my mouth when I was finally pulled back out to the tip, sheathing myself inside of him once more a little bit faster than before.

We built up to a steady rhythm, moans and groans of pleasure filling the room as we both felt blasts of pleasure shoot through our bodies and the air around us. I kept our lips forced together the whole time, moving them quickly and clashing our tongues together. Eventually, my thrusts became harder and more erratic, both of us coming close to our peaks. I could tell I was going to blow soon, my hips jolting back and forth relentlessly. I felt his lips separate from my own and heard him cry loudly, knowing I struck his prostate.

"Carlos, do that again," he said against my lips, his voice to hoarse to be any louder than a whisper.

I continuously struck the same area, hearing loud screams of pleasure from deep inside of Logan's body. I brought my hand down to wrap around his length, joining his own hand in jerking up and down the shaft. His moans grew louder, his climax approaching.

"_Carlos, fuck!" _Logan shouted, and I felt a sticky warmth flood out over our hands. His body constricted around my cock as he came, forcing me over my peak. I thrust in hard one last time, shooting my seed deep into his body. Our cries of pleasure melded into one, riding out our orgasms together. Eventually I pulled out and collapsed on top of the brunet, arms to either side of his head and lips attached to his once again. I rolled off of him, coming to rest with my arms wrapped around him and head nuzzling up to the crook of his neck. I looked up when I heard him speak.

"That… was amazing," he said between heavy pants, arms moving to wrap around me protectively. I smiled, kissing at his neck and looking up to his ear. The lobe was bright red and swollen from the earlier attention it was getting, so I scooted up to give it a quick kiss before chuckling softly to myself. I was tired again even though we only woke up a little while earlier

"So I guess you can be the dominant one any time that we aren't in bed," I whispered in his ear, hearing him laugh in response.

"I guess. Now, I'm tired, let's take a quick nap before we have to go get screamed at by Gustavo." He knew exactly what I wanted.

I pulled him close, the two of us snuggled together under the covers, falling asleep in post-coital bliss.

* * *

><p>When we got home from the studio, all four of us plopped down on the sofa for some television. I almost immediately stood back up, walking to the kitchen and opening the fridge. Logan smiled at me when I got up, his eyes remaining on the TV.<p>

I love Logan with all my heart. I could finally say that and know that he would always return it one-hundred percent. I could turn to look at him whenever and still see that gorgeous grin decorating his visage. From my place in the kitchen I smiled upon seeing him waiting for me on the couch.

"Logie?"

"Hm?" He looked away from the screen to stare directly into my eyes. I felt my knees weaken as he and I gazed lovingly at each other.

"I love you so much."

"And I you, Carlos."


	13. Epilogue

Epilogue — Dreams of Purity

It had been a couple years since all of that. Big Time Rush was a complete success, both couples were still together… very together. I had just turned eighteen, and my gift from Logan made me cry tears of pure joy in front of all of our friends. I'm still a little embarrassed about that last part.

Logan and I were standing in the center of the Palm Woods Lobby, which was serving as a makeshift dance floor, people mingling around us, him whispering sweet nothings into my ear. He was holding my body close to his own and I was nuzzling my nose into his neck, ignoring the occasional cooing coming from passersby.

Then, for some reason, he moved away. I looked at him in confusion, but he merely winked at me seductively, a brilliant twinkle in his eye and killer grin decorating his face. He was walking over to grab a small box with a gold bow on top. As he strode back over, he stopped to quickly say something to Kendall and James, who both smiled brightly and nodded. I was honestly lost.

He got back over to me, and I looked at him once again with confusion before I heard the shushing all around. Everyone was looking at us, and it dawned on me what was happening as soon as Logan lowered himself onto one knee. Me eyes began to tear up as he started talking.

"Carlos Garcia," he began slowly, "I've known you since we were both in elementary school. We've been growing together this whole time, we've been through so much together in this last however long it's been." He took a deep, shuddering breath, swallowing thickly and running his tongue over his lips. "You're the love of my life, and you mean the world to me. Now will you do me the honor of being my one and only, and of letting me be yours forever?"

With that, he opened the black velvet box and a flash of silver met my eye. A small ring sat in the box. I was trying to keep myself from busting out crying, and I was holding my fist to my lips to keep them shut and stop the sobs of joy that I knew wouldn't be stopped. I couldn't help myself. I simply nodded, knowing that I was too happy to say anything coherent.

He smiled warmly and slipped the ring delicately onto my finger. He stood up, took my hands in his and my lips with his as cheering and applause filled the room. Kendall and James walked over, each one giving Logan a hug then patting me on the back. I rubbed my thumb over the ring, still barely believing that it was there, but I felt something different than bare metal. An engraving. Logan was attempting to lock our lips again, but I broke it, holding the ring up in the low light so that I could read it. He smirked as a tear of joy managed to escape.

_I can't imagine life without you._

* * *

><p>I was laying in a bed with a warm body next to me, arms wrapped around me, hold me in its embrace. I felt warm metal on the ring finger of my left hand and smiled. I rubbed my thumb over the inscription like I had so many times before, and I snuggled into his warmth. I love Logan more than life, and I know that I mean everything to him too. I remember that every time my thumb touches that ring. I feel pure love fill me to the brim.<p>

I remembered back to the dream that started all of this, years earlier. The dream that gave me all the love I ever needed. Strange how tonight is almost exactly like that dream. I sighed and thought about all of the time travel and psycho-whatever Logan was always talking about before pulling myself further into his embrace. When he responded to my tugging, I knew he wasn't actually asleep, sliding up the bed and delivering a soft kiss to his lips. He just chuckled, squeezing me a little tighter and moving his lips against mine lovingly. I smiled into the kiss, thinking about how well things turned out just stemming from a dream when I was sixteen.

I must be the luckiest person on the planet, since I'm literally living my dreams.

* * *

><p>AN: Well, that's all folks; that is the end of _Dreamscape._ I'd like to thank you all for putting up with me on these last two "chapters" and how late they really are. But what's done is done, and now this is. I can successfully say I have finished a multi-chapter story, and that I have written sex that I find satisfactory.

I'd also like to thank you all for reading, I love you all. Have a very, very Merry Christmas, or Happy Chanukah, or Joyous Kwanzaa, or just Happy Holidays in general, and stay safe this holiday season.

Have fun, happy writing, and have a wonderful day,

~gameboy33349


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